Someone I loved

Chapter twenty-Nine

As the final month of our bachelor's degree approached, an air of anticipation and nervous energy enveloped the campus. Exams loomed ahead, demanding attention and focus from everyone. Amidst the academic hustle, my heart bore the weight of a decision that would alter the course of my life. Love, they say, carries a tinge of fear—the fear of losing the one you hold dear. Dwyn, a person I thought was different, had become entwined in my life. The realization that my presence was causing him suffering gnawed at my conscience. It wasn't an easy choice, but for both our sakes, I decided to break free from the ties that bound us. I understood the gravity of my complexities, recognizing that I wasn't the easiest person to be with. Dwyn deserved more than the pain I unintentionally inflicted. Despite my initial belief that he would endure, I couldn't bear the thought of him growing tired and resentful. So, I chose to let go while he still loved me, hoping to be a cherished memory—a first love, a fleeting attraction. The imminent separation cast a shadow over our last month as undergraduates. Exams demanded attention, but my heart craved every possible moment with Dwyn. He might not have been my first love, but I knew he would be my last. There was something about him—his charm, his aura—that made the good moments better and the bad moments bearable. Perhaps it was that inexplicable feeling of rightness that drew me to him. With the determination to create lasting memories, I embarked on a mission to make our final month unforgettable. Amidst the academic chaos, I yearned to treasure every shared moment. Dwyn, with his unique charm, had become an irreplaceable part of my life. Little did he know that he was about to become a poignant chapter in the book of my past—a chapter marked by bittersweet goodbyes and the echoes of a love that once felt just right.

As we wrapped up our exams, the sun sank beneath the skyline, painting the city streets with a gentle warmth. I hopped onto the back of Dwyn's bike, its engine purring beneath us as we glided through the twisting roads. The breeze tousled our hair, and I clung to him, sensing the steady beat of his heart. In those quiet moments on the road, the world faded, leaving just us and the promise of countless adventures.The shared thrill of our rides spoke volumes without words. Dwyn's strong presence felt like a protective shield against life's uncertainties. Watching him smile, knowing I was the reason, brought a comforting joy. Yet, a shadow lingered—one month loomed, and I feared losing my place in that smile. I didn't want to go home; instead, I concocted excuses to stay with him after exams and reasons to share study breaks.Every moment together became a precious respite from the impending separation. Dwyn's smile, a source of happiness, now held a bittersweet tinge. I wondered if I'd be the cause of that smile after a month or if I'd fade from that role. Uncertainty gnawed at me, but for now, in the wind on his bike, we found solace, and the road ahead promised an escape from reality's grasp.Our most cherished moments unfolded around the simplicity of shared meals. Whether we found ourselves in a restaurant or cozied up at home, the art of cooking noodles together became a cherished ritual of love. Laughter filled the air as we exchanged bites and stole glances, a language that only the two of us seemed to comprehend. It wasn't merely about the type of cuisine on our plates; it was the profound connection woven through the joy of sharing a meal with someone who had the extraordinary ability to make every morsel taste sweeter.The act of watching him eat became a guilty pleasure for me, a revelation I hadn't anticipated. I never thought I'd find such fascination in someone's dining habits, but there was something utterly captivating about the way he embraced every bite. His enjoyment of food was a celebration in itself, and he never compromised on anything when it came to his culinary preferences. I reveled in the simple pleasure of observing him, finding immense joy and happiness in the genuine delight that illuminated his face as he savored each mouthful.His approach to food was a reflection of his zest for life, an uncompromising commitment to the things that brought him joy. Each meal became a canvas for his happiness, and being a witness to that spectacle became a source of unparalleled joy for me. As he indulged in his favorite dishes, it was as if the flavors mirrored the richness of our connection, creating a tapestry of shared moments and unspoken understanding. In those stolen glances and laughter-laden bites, I found a profound appreciation for the simple yet profound act of cooking noodles together, a ritual that transcended the ordinary and etched itself into the core of our shared history.The thought of distance eroding the warmth between us was something I fiercely resisted. As the night draped its quietness over the world, and everyone else slumbered, we found a way to traverse the miles that separated us—the glow of our screens becoming a conduit for our connection. In those late-night conversations, the pixels on the display blurred into insignificance as our words, both ordinary and profound, filled the virtual space. Laughter and whispered confessions became the threads that wove a tapestry of intimacy, transcending the limitations imposed by physical distance.No matter how far apart we were, in those moments, the miles dissolved, and it felt as if he was right there beside me. The screen, a mere mediator, couldn't contain the depth of our connection. It was as if our laughter and shared secrets created an alternate reality where proximity wasn't measured in tangible units but in the closeness of our hearts.There were times, in the hushed hours of the night, when I had the opportunity to watch him sleep through the screen. In those stolen moments, the chaos of the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the calm. It was an intimate act, observing someone in the vulnerability of sleep. The soft rise and fall of his chest, the tranquility that settled over his features—it was a quiet reassurance that, despite the physical miles, we were, in some profound sense, sharing the same space.The virtual realm, often criticized for its impersonality, became the canvas for our connection to flourish. As we navigated through the silence of the night, our screens transformed into windows, offering glimpses into each other's worlds. The distance, rather than diminishing our warmth, became an opportunity for a different kind of closeness a closeness forged through shared words, laughter, and the quiet beauty of watching someone find solace in sleep.There existed a certain enchantment in the moments when he was oblivious to my gaze. One day, I paid him a surprise visit at his home, engaging in conversation with his mother. As we talked, I couldn't help but observe the profound love reflected in his eyes. His expressions told a story untold, a narrative of genuine affection and connection.In those unguarded instances, a magical aura enveloped him. The spark of excitement that illuminated his face and the subtle furrow of concentration etched on his brow created a portrait of authenticity. It was during these quiet interludes that my affection for him rekindled as if I was discovering the essence of love anew. Love, I realized, wasn't always manifested in grand gestures or boisterous declarations; rather, it unveiled itself in the subtleties of quiet observation.His eyes, windows to his soul, spoke volumes without uttering a word. The way they glimmered with warmth in response to his mother's words or lit up with enthusiasm at the prospect of our unexpected meeting painted a picture of a heart unguarded, unabashedly revealing its true feelings. Witnessing these unfiltered moments, I found myself captivated by the beauty of his authenticity, a beauty that transcended the superficial layers we often present to the world.Love, in its purest form, materialized in the unspoken language of expressions. It wasn't always about the grand gestures or eloquent professions of affection; instead, it thrived in the quietude of understanding and appreciating the nuances that made each person uniquely themselves. As I observed him, lost in the genuine emotions of the moment, I couldn't help but acknowledge the profound truth that love, at its core, was discovered in the simplicity of recognizing and cherishing the person who had the power to make one's heart beat a little faster.