Someone I loved

Chapter thirty-two(THE END)

I'm guessing loving someone with all you have is not a blessing. People don't value something if they get it without struggling for it. I realized my value in his life when he never asked me to stay back or even contacted me. Even if I wanted him to, he didn't. I now understand why people say, "If they wanted to, they would." Loving someone is not a sin, but loving someone who doesn't reciprocate is so exhausting that people become worn out.There were a few things I wanted him to know.I didn't fall in love because I was lost; I loved you because when I bonded with you, it was the first time I ever wanted to make someone permanent in my life. All my life, I filled the void spaces in people's lives. Then you came along and showed me that I was not a void but something more. You made me feel like home. I know I might have annoyed you over time. Yes, I got jealous when someone else had your attention. It's not that I'm insecure; I just didn't want someone else to realize how amazing you are and steal you from me. I just didn't want to lose you...I'm sorry for hurting you all this time.All I ever wanted was someone who would stay with me and try to make things work, even when it was hard and the relationship seemed like it was about to end. I'm tired of people leaving my life all the time, and I wondered what it was like to be chosen. I was never chosen. I was a maybe, sometimes even a definite, but never the one. You made me believe that I was the chosen one.Now that I've finally left, I realize I was never your chosen one. You didn't pay attention to what I needed from you the most. I cared for you and loved you. I trusted you the most, though you didn't give me the same in return. But everyone has their limit. I thought, why am I so crazy about you? I shouldn't have to beg for this from you. This is a priority in a relationship; you should give it willingly. Because I didn't want to become your nothing, I wanted to become your everything...I'm not mad at you because you didn't want me. I'm mad because you acted like you did, made me fall for you, and then left like I was nothing, teaching me that no matter how good a woman you are, you will never be good enough for a guy who isn't ready to be a man.There will always be a part of you in my heart, and I hate the fact that I will always be in love with the impossible us. I always searched for closure. Now I believe that some endings don't have a proper meaning; they just end unexpectedly and hurt forever. I'm not sure what hurt me more, being with you or letting you go.

----------------------------------------------THE END-----------------------------------------------------------------------