everything has changed

28

when the game was over we all thanked the fans of course and we all slowly made our way back to the changing rooms, i was in there straight away waiting for maya to walk in, i just needed to get away from the fans right now as i needed to make sure maya was okay. it felt like forever till maya walked in and god she looks exhausted, she instantly sees me and smiles, i just go give her a hug, i could tell she needed one, she just wrapped her arms around me relaxing intro the hug.

"im okay le" she mumbled.

"are you sure" i say rubbing my thumb over her cheek.

"yeah it's nothing just a sprained wrist and a cut head"

"so not concussion?" i questioned.

"no i'm all good"

"okay good" i pause "uno you gave me a right old scare"

"i know i did, i gave beth a heart attack" she laughs slightly.

"i can imagine"

"i'm just gonna get ready" may says and walks off over to her cubicle.

"oh yeah right i'll see you in a second" i say to maya while she goes and get ready i see beth signal me to her and esme i tell maya that i'll be with them she just nods.

"leah"

"yes beth" i say.

"i know how you look at her" beth whispers.

"what do you mean"

"like she's the only girl in the world"

"yeah? and" i say.

"and she saw you talking to jordan earlier what was that about?"

"oh urm nothing"

"leah williamson" beth says sternly.

"ugh fine she just told me not to fuck it up"

"fuck what up"

"me not realising i like maya" i say but sigh slightly.

"she said that?"

"yeah it was weird"

"well just tell maya it was that" beth says and i know she's just trying to be protective but no way in hell am i telling her.

"no because then i'm admitting it"

"admitting what?"

"that i like her to her face i can't do that" i say as i feel my eyes getting teary.

"you can"

"nope i'm not doing it"

"fine you're just gonna cause yourself more pain and suffering" beth say giving up.

"yeah i guess" i say as i walk off onto the bus and try not to cry this is a lot more confusing than i thought it would be like why did i have to for the most innocent person to exist she's perfectly, she's beautiful, she's so kind and caring she would do anything for her loved ones she really is amazing i just sigh and stare out the window and wait for everyone else to get on.

we was waiting on a couple more people to get on maya being one of them, beth was another but she joined a little after jill. may just walked on after georgia, she just looked so defeated, she just went and sat down in a empty seat across from me, put her headphones in while resting her head against the window me and beth share a look, she goes over to her, all maya does is breakdown in beth's arms you can just about hear some of the things she was mumbling. 'i can't do this', 'why does this happen to me', 'i'm going to see the hate they say about me again', 'i want viv here aswell as you' hearing her say stuff like that makes me so angry and my heart breaks for her why can't people accept her apology she did, she doesn't deserve the hate. so i posted a picture i took of her when we went to the beach a couple months back it was my favourite picture i have of her and i've never been more tempted to make it my lockscreen more than i have right now probably because i like her now.