TIDES OF FATE - JJ Maybank

IX. They're afraid of dogs

:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:

Lily's POV

I LOVED JOHN B. Since the day we met in fourth grade, I knew I had someone who would always have my back. He was there for me when I got bullied the first day of school. He was there for me when George Frank asked Mariah Thomas to the Snow ball instead of me and he was always there for me to give me advice about JJ time after time again. John B was my brother for all intents and purposes. No matter what he was there for me, so when his father went missing, it was only right that i returned that favour.

Through many sleepless nights and mornings filled with fierce denial, I was there to wipe away John B's tears or provide hope when all was lost. But as the months slipped by with no lead in the missing persons case, John B's denial only grew. It grew until it was almost an obsession. It grew until it was harmful.

I tried to be the lighthouse that brought hope to the darkness of my honorary brother's despair for as long as I could, but I knew the odds and Big John wasn't the type of person who would get lost at sea. After nine months of holding out for a miracle, everyone including me, tried to voice their concern, telling John B that if his dad wasn't dead, then he was long gone and he wasn't coming back.

Gentle suggestions were met with harsh tones and for the past couple weeks, the rest of us Pogues felt as though we were walking on eggshells-much like we were doing right now as John B frantically drove away from his house.

"I mean it's obvious, right?" He questioned, eyes wide as he looked at us through the van's rearview mirror. "A family heirloom. What better place to hide a message? He had to know it was gonna get back to me, right?"

The four of us shared a look before Kie hesitantly spoke up. "Yeah," she trailed, her voice full of skepticism. "It's... possible."

"It could also be possible that you're concocting wild theories to help, you know, deal with your sad feels," Pope suggested, taking a much more logical route.

I nodded. "It's, uh... It's self-preservation, basically," I explained, hesitant to share my knowledge. When no one said anything, I continued, "Your mind will believe whatever supports your beliefs regardless of the evidence against it. It's a form of protection so you don't experience dissonance. Saves you from pain and disappointment."

"Lillian," John B warned. Perhaps if it were any other day, the more sensible part of him would know that Pope and I only meant well. But it wasn't everyday that your life gets threatened by scary armed men who want your family heirloom, so right now, he was simply annoyed and didn't want to hear it.

"Sorry," I replied, sinking back into my seat. "I read a psychology paper about it, I thought it might help or something."

Pope looked at me and mouthed the words 'it did' since what I said supported his argument about John B's coping mechanisms.

Across from him, JJ leaned forward. "Bro, you know how I process my sad feels?" He waited for someone to question him and when I looked over, he grinned. "Dank nugs and the stickiest of ickies, that's how I do it."

"I stress bake," I admitted. "Either that or I take an hour long shower and relive my One Direction phase. But then that just makes me more sad because they lied about their eighteen month hiatus and I end up dying or cutting my hair."

"I'm not concocting, okay?" John B snapped, bringing the attention back to him. "My dad's trying to give me a message."

"If it helps you believe, John B," Kie said gently.

"Look, I-I don't need a therapy session, okay?" Almost as if he could sense us sharing a concerned glance, he let out a frustrated sigh. "Look, I'm not trippin' out."