You said forever

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Jake

Damn that was crazy.
I don't even know how to say it.
I feel like I'm floating.
Today was....

I mean she is amazing that kiss was amazing. I cannot imagine how I would've been not knowing how her lips feel like.

So soft and sweet. So adorable how she blushes at the most simple moments how her eyes light up when she is listening to music that she loves.

How her voice softens when talking. How she get shy, her attitude, her hair and her mind and just they way she changes my view on things.

But this is why I don't do this. She doesn't feel the same way. Or maybe I went to fast touching her thighs or going back for another kiss.

Maybe I kissed her to hard, maybe I kissed her to long, if not fast enough.

WAIT STOP!!!
Stop over thinking
It's not important STOP

My head fight with its self. I end up getting really mad for no reason and kicking the dirt beneath me.

Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.

I haven't taken my pills. I have BPD ( borderline personality disorder) I got diagnosed when I was In middle school. I got it's from my mom she's all over the place.

And cause of her I'm a mess trying to stay together for her. She doesn't like taking her meds and I have to take care of her and my little sister.

I sigh walking back home. I stop by the liquor store and buy three sandwiches and three soda before getting home.

I get to a run down apartment complex and go up the stairs. Walking through the building to my place. I open the door and make sure not to make to much noise.

My mom is sitting on the couch asleep. The long dark black hair falling in her face covering her eyes with dark eye bags.

I sigh and go to the cabinet and get the pills prescribed for me i though them in my mouth and take a drink of water from a cup. I walk to my sisters room and open it.

She's six years old. She sitting on the floor infront of the tv in her room watching the new Barbie movie.

I smile. I love this little booger, if I could I would buy her the whole world. I walk in and close the door " Little Celo." I say softly not to loud so the mom dosent wake up. She turns and her face lights up.

Her blonde hair in two braids the I did, ya I did that. She jumps up " JAKEYYY" she yells running up to me and hugging me. I hug her back but shush her at the same time.

She remembers about mom and nods agreeing not to me to loud. She goes back to sit down. I hear her stomach growling. I give her the sandwich I bought and a soda.

She smiles " thank you, Jakey." She says taking the food and opening it. I sit next to her and open my sandwich watching the movie with her.

" how was school?" I ask her turning to her. She shrugs taking a bite of her food " ah, it was okay" she says. I chuckle from her response. She got that from me.

I pat her head and get up after finishing my food and I get the trash she left and walk out of her room marking sure to close the door behind me.

Shit.

I see my mom getting up and walking to the sandwich on the table. I go to the kitchen and throw away the trash.
" What is this?" My mom asks with a raspy voice.

I look at her " A sandwich, ma" I say from the kitchen she hums before opening a beer she got from the fridge and opening the sandwich then taking a bite.

" ima need you to pick up Celo from school tomorrow" she says while looking at the tv. She acts like I don't pick her up every day since she started school.

" okay." I say no putting up a fight with her. I know better then doing that.

She gets up and goes to her room. She won't come out at all till tomorrow. That what she dose I get home and she leave some where. I sigh before looking at the time 9:30 pm.

Celo needs to go to sleep. I walk to her room and open the door. She's still watching tv but this time she is coloring to.

" Celo" I say loud enough for just her to hear. I'm meet with her piercing blue eyes we get it from our mom. She gets the blonde from her dad.

We don't have the same dad. " yes" she says softly " you have to take a shower and then go to sleep. She throws her head back with a groan.

" okay, fine" she says getting up. I got to her closet and get her clothes. I put it in the bathroom and she walks in I turn the water on warm and walk out before she changes to go in.

I wait out side till she is done. She walks out with her pink pjs and purple slippers. Her golden blonde hair a dirty blonde from the water.

I get a comb and sit on her bed with her on a chair in the front of me. I comb her hair and put it in a braid as she watches her cartoons.

" hey, what if tomorrow we go to the park?" I ask her. She nods happily with a smile. " okay, we have a plan then." I say picking her up in my arms.

I move the chair and put her under her dinosaur sheets. " Jakey?" She says " Yes, lil Celo" I say poking her stomach she giggles.

" Since tomorrow is Friday, can we get ice cream." She asks sweetly with a smile. I smile a nod yes.

She smile happily before laying all the way down. I get up and turn off the light then trun on her star lamp on.

Projecting stars all over her ceiling. Took me two of my pay checks to pay for that but worth it.

" Good night, lil Celo" I say opening the door. " Good night, Jakey" she says softly before falling to sleep.

I close the door and find my moms door open. I look in the see her room empty. I look in the living room slash kitchen not there.

I walk to the bathroom not there. Lastly my room. Not there.

Huh.

She left again. Well at least someone else can deal with her today. I go take a shower then I go to my room.

I put my boxers on then a black wife beater and grey sweats. I open my window and let the cool night breeze blow in. I sigh and lay down.

Fuck, that kiss was spectacular. Damn I would kiss her agian if she asked me to. No doubt about that.

I think. I get my phone and start looking for a movie to watch. As I'm watching The Simpsons.

When I get a message from Anthony.

Bro : Anthony

Wsp : Me

This is not good : Anthony

Wait what happened : Me

I'm going to be a fucking dad : Anthony

Bro smh : Me

It's not fucking funny : Anthony

Thora took a test today and it said she is pregnant : Anthony

Fuck man, what she say? : Me

Idk she started crying then she was like js in shock yk? : Anthony

Ig : Me

What she doing know? : Me

Nun she asleep : Anthony

Look I'll talk to u tmr : Anthony

Js wanted to tell u, u going to be an uncle. : Anthony

Okay, man : Me

Night : Me

Night : Anthony