Poisonous love// tom Kaulitz

I need this

I cried myself to sleep for almost two weeks. I had never loved someone as much I loved Tom. I sigh and look at myself in the mirror. My eyes where red and puffy. My hair a mess. I sigh. I needed to get away from this city. I sat down in my bed.

" I miss you so much" I say and feel my tears swell up in my eyes like they always did when I thought about him. So many times I had looked at his number being so close to calling him, telling him I wanted him back, that we can try again, but every time I had stopped myself as I thought about everything he had put me through.

I now after hand realized how bad we was for each other how our love where poisonous.

I new that time he had pushed me wasn't a mistake, it would have happened again and he would I have said it was a mistake again. He would cheat again and again, that was just how he was, he was messed up and nothing could fix him....not even me.

It was hard to get over him, he was my first true love even after everything, and I saw him everywhere, in the gossip news, reading about a new girl every night. Reading how me and his relationship had ended quickly.

I picked up my phone and called sally. " hey" I say " hey how are you?" She asked with a concerned voice " I don't know but I have to get out of my apartment " I sigh and look around me at the mess. " okay then... let's go out and party tonight" " yes I really need it"

I take a long shower. Fixing myself from top to toe. I looked amazing. Something I hadn't seen in 2 weeks.

I stop a cab. " where are you going miss?" The taxi driver says with an British accent " LAVO night club" I say and he begins to drive.
" you are British?" I ask " yep" he says
" how is it there?" I ask making him smile " it's a beautiful land especially London, you should really visit it" " yeah maybe I should " I smile and soon sees that we where almost there.

I saw sally, " hi" I shouts making her look around confused until she sees me. She gives me a hug and we soon goes in.
" I want shots" I shout over the loud music making her laugh.

It didn't take long until I was wasted. I where dancing and kissing all kinds of people.
Telling people how much of a jerk the famous Tom kaulitz where.

Dancing on a table making people cheer for me. " come on now Lilly" sally says and tries to make me calm down with the drinking " no sally I need this, I need to feel alive again" I say and take a sip of a drink.

I saw a guy and it didn't take long until he asked me if we should leave together. Sally tried to stop me but I refused until she dragged me away from him " this is not what you need Lilly, okay?" She says and gives me a bottle of water. " no what I need is Tom sally, I loved him, fuck I still love him!" I almost shouts as I feel tears forming in my eyes.

I don't remember getting home but I guess sally had helped me home. I laid in my bed when my phone rang and my heart started to beat fast, I somewhere wished it would be him, calling to tell me he missed me... telling me he wanted to try again, but it was just sally. I didn't answer I didn't have the strength to it.