Harmony in Hues

Prologue

"Maybe you were not really meant to be," I heard myself say.

I fell silent. Shocks! Hindi ko dapat sinabi yun! Dapat quiet lang ako. I should only be listening and not talking!

Dahan-dahan akong lumingon sa kanya and she's already looking at me. I bit my lower lip.

"Should I have not talked?" Pilit akong ngumiti.

Napailing nalang siya at ngumiti. "Hindi. I just gave it a thought."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," iling niya. "Siguro nawala na yung sparks dati. Nawala na yung dating kilig."

"Love mo pa naman siguro?" I asked.

"Yes. But to what extent? Hindi ko alam," she chuckled. "Nung nag-away kami, sabi ko maghiwalay nalang kami. Of course, it was a joke, like gusto ko lang namang lambingin niya ako. Pero she said something that hurt me so much."

"Ano?"

She took a deep breath. "Sabi niya matagal na daw niyang ramdam na hiwalay na kami."

"What?!"

"We kept on fighting and I felt that our relationship is getting shakey already. Akala ko may makakapitan pa ako, pero mukhang ako nalang yung hinihintay niyang mag-let go," she forced a smile.

Natuptop ko ang aking bibig. I always admired her girlfriend to have a partner like her. I thought they were going smoothly despite of the distance. Siguro nga hindi kadalasang nagwo-work yung long distance relationship.

"Bakit daw?" I asked. "If you don't mind me asking."

She looked at me in the eyes. "She found someone. Malapit sa kanya."

My heart broke. Fück! So pinagpalit niya ang babaeng ito sa malapit? Ano ba ang iniisip niya?

"What the fück?!"

She giggled. "Kaya kung ako sa'yo, Adi. Huwag ka munang papasok sa mga ganito. Sobrang hirap."

"Balak ko pang maging madre," I joked, trying to make her laugh.

"Sister Addison? Ganun?"

"Magmano ka," abot ko sa kanya ng aking kamay.

She laughed and I was contented with that. I don't want to see you cry or sad because it makes me feel the same way. Bobo lang talaga ang babaeng yan para sayangin ang taong katulad mo.

"Ano plano mo?" I asked.

"Maghihintay ako. And if this relationship don't work out, I'll give chance to guys," ngiti niya sa akin.

Guys?

"Magiging straight ka?"

She nodded. "Why not? Baka hindi para sa akin ang girls."

Natahimik ako. She'll give up on girls. Does that mean my chances are thin? Pero, püta! Akala ko crush lang ito. Bakit parang ramdam ko lumalalim?

"Are you straight, Adi?" She asked.

"Ha?"

"Straight ka ba?" Pag-uulit niya.

I bit my lower lip and looked away. "Wala naman na sigurong straight ngayon."

"But do you see yourself with a guy in the future?" Tanong niya.

Why is she asking these questions? Did she already see right through me? Naaamoy niya ba na nagsimula na akong magkagusto sa kanya?

Kalma, Adi.

I thought about her question. Well, I want to see my descent. In order to have that, it needs a father.

Bago sa akin ang magkagusto ng babae kaya hindi ko pa ito napag-isipan nang mabuti.

"I want to have a family, that's for sure."

"Edi straight ka," she said.

I nodded. I doubt that. Ayaw ko lang mahalata mo. I've been liking this person for seven months now. Natatakot akong umamin. I'm scared of going out.

"Thank you," sabi niya.

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for accompanying me. Nagdala ka pa ng soju," turo niya sa dala kong bote.

Itinaas ko ito. "Balak ko sana na tayong dalawa ang uminom. Mukhang ako naman pala ang uubos nito."

"Sorry," she chuckled. "Hindi ko talaga kaya. Paano mo nagawang ubusin yan?"

"Masarap kaya," nguso ko.

"Ang cute," she smiled. "Thank you ulit."

"You're welcome," I smiled back. "Sabihin mo lang kung kailangan mo ako. I'm only one call away."

I am one call away, Jaycee. I'm just here waiting. Waiting for you to finally pick me.