𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥

07

THURSDAY

"Hey, can you take me and Madeline to school today?" Logan asks, walking into my bathroom with no warning.

I nod, my voice muffled from the toothbrush in my mouth. "Yeah, sure. Just make sure you head to the car as soon as school ends because I have a session at 5." I mumble.

"Okay. Thanks." She says.

I spit into the sink and rinse my toothbrush before washing my mouth. "So, Madeline's feeling better?" I ask.

"Yep, she texted me this morning."

"Oh, good." I say, trying to sound nonchalant but obviously failing.

"Yeah, okay." Logan snorts and raises an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You do realise it's super obvious that you like her." She grins smugly.

I scoff, "No I don't." I dry my hands and turn to her. "Is it really that obvious?"

"Yes." She says. "Chill, I won't tell her anything."

I roll my eyes and slide past her in the doorway. "You better not."

"You could ask her to prom."

"What? Fuck no." I say, furrowing my eyebrows.

How she would even suggest that is beyond me. She knows I have no interest in dating, plus I doubt Madeline would say yes anyway. Not that I was going to ask her.

"Oh, come on! Why not?" She implores and follows me back into my room.

"One, I don't date. Two, won't she be moving again soon? Proms not till June and it's only November." I add as I button up my school shirt.

"Well here's your chance to. And I'm not actually sure." Logan says. "Who knows, maybe she's not."

I ignore her as she continues to pester me and I head downstairs once I've done my tie.

"Mom, tell Quinn to ask Madeline out." Logan complains.

"Madeline, huh?" My mom asks insinuatingly

I roll my eyes and take my cereal into the living room. "I'm eating somewhere else."

My mom laughs and continues chopping up salad. I sit down on the sofa and eat in silence. If I was that obvious did that mean Madeline knew? I don't think I'm that obvious. It's not like I'm in love with her or some shit it's just a small crush. An extremely small crush. Minuscule really.

"Madeline, hey!"

I wipe the milk I just accidentally spit out off my trousers and walk back into the kitchen to place my bowl in the sink. I grab my keys off the side and put my phone in my pocket.

"Quinn!" I hear Logan call out impatiently.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming." I pull my backpack over one shoulder and slide my shoes on, heading to the door where Logan and Madeline were waiting.

"Hi." Madeline says. She looks better today and her colours back. She has that small braid in her hair again and she's wearing that same small locket around her neck.

"Hey. Feeling better?" I ask.

"Yeah I am, thanks." She smiles softly at me.

I get into the car as Logan and Madeline get in the back. I try to focus on the road most of the time though I'm pretty sure I snuck at least five glances through the front view mirror at Madeline. God, I'm fucked.

Once we arrive at school I climb out with my bag.
"Thanks for the ride." Madeline says before she and Logan disappear towards the direction of Phoebe, Olivia and Rowan. I walk towards Josh and a few more of my friends at the other end of the car park.

"Was that the new girl?" Josh asks. "The one you were ogling at the other day?"

I really am not subtle. "Yeah, she's friends with Logan. I gave them a ride. And I wasn't ogling."

"Mhm alright, whatever you say dude."

-

"So you've been doing all your exercises? Breathing techniques?"

I'd been going to therapy for three years now. My mom had put me through the process after my panic attacks started. I'd made progress and I haven't had a panic attack in almost five months. Sure, I stumble sometimes but I've been able to ground myself.

"Yep. It's been helping. I haven't felt on edge for a while." I say.

"That's great, Quinn. How about rugby? How's that going?" My therapist, Lance, asks.

"We won the game last Saturday and my practices are going well. Plus my next game is in a few weeks and there's going to be a university evaluator there."

"Congratulations! You'll do great and it'll be a good opportunity for you. I'm sorry I couldn't be there last Saturday, my husband and I finally managed to get a weekend away." He says.

"It's alright. Did you have a nice time?" Lance and his husband had been trying to adopt for the last couple of months. They haven't had much luck yet but I know they'd be great parents.

"We did. Lots of sightseeing and the weather was perfect. But enough about me." He chuckles. "Did you want to talk about anything else this session?"

"Well, everything's been calm and I think my moms happy. But it just- it keeps coming up. In everything I do there's always something that links to him."

"Quinn, it's never going to be easy. A father is supposed to be a permanent role in a persons life but yours, like others, isn't. When you're ready, you can release the power he holds over you and let it go. And it's going to take time." He says, leaning forward in his chair.

He was right. He was always right. I just wish it'd take less time. My dad left my family when I was fourteen. He had started coming home later. My mom always said that he had to stay at work longer but I think she always suspected the real reason. The day after Logan and I's birthday he left. Leaving nothing but his house key and divorce files on the kitchen counter.

"I don't get it. It was hard for all of us when he left but Logan had always coped. Why couldn't I?"

"No one is the same, Quinn. It can take people a long time to adjust to life changing events. You were always closer to your dad than Logan was and I think that's maybe why it feels so hard for you." Lance suggests.

"I guess. I think I'm getting somewhere, I just wish it would go quicker." I say.

"Me too but you're doing great, Quinn. I'm proud of you. Do you remember the first time you came here? You would barely talk to me and it took you a month to finally open up to me." He says, "Look at you now."

I smile faintly. I had come far, even if I do forget sometimes.

"I'm proud of you, Quinn." He smiles. "Peppermint?"

Peppermints was a weird thing of ours. The first time I came here he offered me peppermints and I took them. He always has them at every one of our sessions now.

"You don't even have to ask."

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