Zelink Short Stories

A Silent I Love You

My cat very rudely smacks me in the face when I try to take a nap. It's what he does when he wants to be fed since he knows I can't hear his meowing.

I sit up and glare at him. I had a long day at school and I was trying to ignore the project I have due at midnight. Zelda, my best friend, has been getting on me about it, acting like I won't graduate if I turn it in late.

My cat whaps me in the face again and even adds a meow that I can't hear. Dramatic as ever. I pick him up, carrying him under one arm to the kitchen. All he wants to do is eat but then again, so do I.

My phone vibrates before I get my cat his food. Texting Zelda back is a priority. I'd asked her if she wanted to hang out after school tomorrow since we haven't been hanging out much lately. I'm not sure how long I've had a crush on her. Maybe ever since we met in kindergarten. She was the one person who wanted to be my friend. She even learned sign language so we could talk. How could I not fall head over heels for the girl who wanted to be nice to the deaf kid?

I open our chat, hoping she said we could hang out. *I can't tomorrow :( * That's always what she says.

I've liked her forever but I've never told her. Each attempt only discourages me, especially after I'd gotten her flowers this last Valentine's Day, only to watch the guy she liked give her chocolate at her locker before I could get to her. Those flowers ended up in the garbage in the boy's bathroom. And then it sucked more because her and that Ganon guy only dated for a month and I was the one comforting her. But she still likes him. I mean, why would she like me over him anyway? He's at least 6'2" and on the varsity football team. I'm a couple inches shorter than her, pretty much giving up all hope that I'll have a late growth spurt. I play volleyball, a sport not nearly as exciting as football. And I'm deaf. I'll never hear her voice or talk to her normally. Usually I enjoy my quiet bubble until I'm with her, reading her lips as she signs, wondering what she actually sounds like.

*the day after?* I text back, knowing the answer is going to be the same.

My cat wiggles under my arm, frustrated that I haven't fed him yet. I give him a scoop of food before getting myself a snack to wallow in self pity with. I settle on Goldfish and a Capri Sun like the seventeen year old toddler I am and sit on the couch with a blanket draped over my head like a hood. The perfect setup for feeling bad for myself.

I scroll through our pictures, waiting for her to respond. She always takes forever. She's probably working on homework or something like she always is. Or she's with her other friends.

We have pictures that go back to when we were six. I find the one of us sharing a birthday party. We were both missing our front teeth, grinning at the cake her dad bought us. We were always together back then, never doing anything without the other. And now she's busy with harder classes and she has new friends. I feel like a burden always asking to hang out.

I look up from my pity party when mom comes home in her scrubs. She's a nurse and works weird hours. I'm at home alone most of the time with our fat cat since it's just us. My half-sister lives with dad and they live in another state. It bothered me at first that he'd move so far away to start a new family but I'm happy with mom and she's happier away from him. Just because I couldn't hear the fights doesn't mean I didn't feel the house shake when doors would slam or miss it when she'd try to hide her tears from me.

What do you want for dinner? she signs.

I can eat the leftovers. She already looks tired; I don't want to add to it.

What's left?

Spaghetti I think.

I don't want that. She smiles. Let's order pizza. I mean I'll eat anything.