Star Jealousy.

part 6 : looking for the deep

his name on the drawing attracted my attention, I was focused, emotions started to grow, I feel the energy in me. i wanted to remember that name. i used to read lots of books that has names..

but i just forgot which book it had that name..
Looks familiar.
i like his name! i don't know if its really common or not, but i liked it, for an artist! Y'know..

Gutssss!
although he was a great artist but i couldn't expect him writing in a really tiny way, it's like more of a doctor handwriting, but I believe artists are changers of the world,

maybe this is one of their own way, of being different.

they leave their drawings, and they lead.
and I think his art is having a different story too.
so i called Nancy to give me her glasses to read his name clearly,

and cause i'm being too curious somehow.

its just the same of what i thought of it when it was blurry.

"Keith John" .. was his name.
with a sign of a star shape in the end of his own subscription.
man, damn, why parents are always crazy of choosing the names of their kids?!
felt that there's something strange about him..
The way he draws, the way he writes, the signs he draws, my weird dreams that makes me nervous everyday more.
no problem I have, I'm just confused. as usual.. strangely.
I say a lot, barely can feel,
and remaining times of strange situations,
I barely can say, and feel a lot.
everything then shows wrong, conflicting.. in life.
You can say he's very creative artist, you can feel better whenever you free your mind once looking at his drawings,
and very deep that you cannot understand what he thinks of when you try to figure out points of drawings he made, one of the reasons I would try to ask him about his life, understand the misunderstood.

Curious.. I'm being so curious, not haunting him..

or maybe i'm just being so moody about school and getting busy.

***********
so in the end of the day while Nancy's mother is driving me home she said that shell go in a while cause she needs to bring some stuff from the supermarket for the food she wants to cook by the next day.
We parked in.
" ill leave the window a little bit opened for both of you, for emergency and to let you breathe, if there's something just call, ill come back fast okay? " calmly she said with blankly looking face.
"don't worry Vanessa is the oxygen i have here hahahaha." Nancy tried to be kinda silly.
so i also laughed as if i'm telling her to stop being like that LOL.
Nancy said something again ..
"okay mum, we understand we really- really really really.... do understand,we understand everything,

my demons are too polite for you, in fact we have minds um.. yeah"

Nancy secretly smiled at my face as we are assholes with no minds acting stupid but great at acting in front of her mum.

i also told her mum " okay we will ! " *smiles after that*
me and nancy were sitting in the last two chairs in the car, in front of each other, nancy was pretending to sleep, and i was only trying to find new music to listen with my headphones on,
for once, i thought nancy is taking drugs or something, her head was looming right and left, then goes right.. right right .. till she leaned on my shoulder.
i was looking at her face like a scared kitten, with huge eyes.
me : WOOH HEY HEEEY WHAT YOURE DOING MY FRIEND THIS IS AWKWARD AND YOURE COLD AS ICE YOU WHITE NIGGAH-
GET OFF ME!!
*she drools more*
nancy : " mum too clingy, mum too clingy hate me hate me bring me another mamaaaa, bitch bring me that bananaaaaa, yes you called Anna! , I love you Eminem, I got a sin, I love u god, but Im drunk wanna sleep on mud "
* talking while asleep *
me: oh god, DONT SCRATCH ME BITCH NOOO NOOO! OUCH YOUR FINGERNAILS UGH STAAHP! UGH.
suddenly she opened her eyes wide bc of me ... screaming ,