Star Jealousy.

part eleven: Trust your words.

I turned back home after a tiring time,

hufff.

tried to sleep, but I couldn't, I was..... drown with my thoughts. thinking about the ends?

thinking about stuff bout my heart and soul. my day,

and most importantly...

Whats Next..

i wanna convince myself that i'm taking all my time to stop mask-ing whats real.

Is it propitiate? If I was looking back, to run for a new adventure in this universe now?
1st Journeys Title: Keith John.
Keith John: a gentleman, & an artist that comes once in a life time. something happens,

that reminds me of how bad my memory is trying to know if i would just come to think of him as a perfect gone past or the hold on to it present and future till the end of us.

and now I guess I regret reading romance books that are uncompleted on my shelf.
DO YOU WONDER WHY IT MAKES ME FEEL.. S I C K?
Uh, if anyone asked me id say, they'll prove you that you didn't have any experience yet.
C'mon, everyone likes to try something different in kinds of " Love. " that they wanna know the taste of it if they literally got the chance to have it.
Psychology fact : " Married & relationship couples are happier than single ones. "
" THAT'S STUPID! MY PATIENCE IS GONE.. GAHH.. LAME.. " I threw the books away, when I calmed down I complained this shit to my pet..
Hershey's was his name.
Yes, Hershey's, bc his eyes inspires me like Hershey's Chocolate.
I prefer caring about him rather than my studies.
He Comes every morning to just sniff my school shoes.

and hes my love thang on Valetine's day. he never leaves me hanging.

***********

EEEERRMM.
I wasn't ready to tell Nancy about, Falling In Love with the first NEW adventure.
Something bout me is that, I spend my life trying to get the least regret of doing the right things.
I feel like biting my finger BC i was the one telling her to be careful to not fall for him.. And so.. Biting my lower lip.
I wrote a plan for her on a paper

Topic: How To Make Nancy Have Fun Without Me For A Night.
**********
They started posting announcement of the billboard at the lobby that there will be a costume party this Thursday.

I promised Keith to take the drawing from him this Thursday too.
I actually invited him to my house, bc I was welcomed to him's.
To show him more respect. He deserves it.

let's say I wanted to say " it's a date "
A lot of excuses to calm down the fire in us by the cruel black world. chilling.....time.

wait............................

I just couldn't. I never went on a date, I found it pointless when I was young.
I was convinced already to not go to the party, I don't want to wear my tinker bell costume again. No.

***********
- Next Day -
Our studies were fine, I turned home..
Nancy read what I wrote for her " call me on 3:00 pm, if my mum answered tell her it's important, and I promise I won't shut the phone while you're saying shit, I love you.

Your friend : Vanessa Grace "

When she called me I explained to her that I got an excuse to not arrive to that costume party, but she needs to go, i told her that something is waiting for her there ( white lie ), and I'm teaching her to be the lil miss popular. ( truth )