How We Met Juliette

Infinite Season Ep. 4 Braxton Hicks the devil

Barney's POV...

Life had been routine for a while after mommy and I had agreed on your name. At work, we seemed like two teenagers in love who wrote the name of their crush on the inside of their notebooks. But mommy and I both knew that our love for you would last longer than any relationship we had both ever been in. Our ship was sailing smoothly until I received a shocking call on my lunch break.

"Go for Barney" I answered.

'Barney, baby? There's something wrong. I need you to meet me at the hospital right away"mommy said, she seemed to be running out of breath and experiencing a great amount of anxiety.

"Robin, what's wrong?" I asked.

"I think there's something wrong with the baby. I might be having contractions. But I'm not sure. It's too early" mommy answered worriedly.

"Oh my gosh, I'll be right there. I'll just tell Arthur that I've gotta go" I said, referring to my boss who cared about nothing but his dog, Tugboat and making money at Goliath National Bank.

What your mommy still does not know to this day is that I never actually told Arthur face to face or even via text that I was leaving. I swiped a cocktail napkin off of his desk and wrote: Had to leave. My baby's life is in jeopardy. If you cared about your kids,  you'd understand. As soon as I had finished writing the note, I ran for the door and jumped into the first cab that I saw.

"Where to, chief?" the driver asked. As he adjusted his rear-view mirror, he looked an awful lot like Ted. But I thought we had already found Ted's doppleganger. I guess I could be wrong.

"Columbia University Medical Center. Speed it up, will ya? My wife's not doing so hot; which is misleading because if you saw her you'd strongly disagree. But if even if you did, I'd have to pound on you a little" I laughed nervously.

~X~

I arrived at the hospital at approximately 12:30PM and I rushed past security to find out what room mommy had been sent to.

"Could you please tell me what room Robin Stinson-Scherbatsky is in" I panted as I hit the counter to catch my breath and took some time before I made eye contact with the acne filled receptionist.

"She's in Examination Room 3B" the receptionist answered as she looked up at the computer screen and fixed her  retched blonde hair bun.

"Thank you" I panted as I began to bolt to that exact room.

It felt like I had been searching for mommy's room for countless hours, but I finally arrived. When I did, I heard another man's voice in there. Instead of getting paranoid or jealous, I took a couple deep breaths and told myself that it might just be Dr. John Stangel. I knocked on the door and when I was greeted by Dr. Stangel, I passed out on the floor.

"Barney!" mommy exclaimed as she sat in an upright position on the examination table without Dr. Stangel's consent.

I regained consciousness 2 minutes later as I slowly got up off the granite tiled floor. As soon as I got up, I just had to ask "is everything okay? What's wrong with the baby?"

Dr. Stangel told me that there was nothing to be alarmed about. Mommy was just experiencing something called Braxton Hicks contractions. According to the pamphlet he had given her before I got to the room, it was actually a pretty common thing to experience during pregnancy from weeks 20-32. It was meant to be seen as practice for the actual birth. Some women hardly felt it, but others felt it right away. If there had been four within an hour, then someone was probably in labour.

According to the pamphlet, to maintain the contractions and not confuse them for the real deal, mommy simply had to drink a lot of water, keep moving, and visualize; which meant imagining that she was actually going to go through labor. I guess picturing it makes it less stressful. I don't understand women all too well but I managed to snare the best one in the world despite that. 

When I took your mommy home from the hospital and before I hailed the cab, I knelt down to face the womb, placed my hand on it and said "hey, baby girl. Don't even think about coming out yet. I know you're excited to see the world but you're not exactly ready for it. We've still got time. But that doesn't mean that we're not ready to meet you". Afterward, we felt something incredible. You started kicking.

"I think she could be a soccer player" mommy smiled as we got into the cab and were driven home by Doppleganger Uncle Ted 2.0.

We spent the entire cab ride once again envision the brightest future with you. I could just imagine taking you to the playground for the first time and seeing your reaction on the swings and the slide. I was starting to get a little emotional just thinking about it. Mommy lifted her head from my shoulder, looked me lovingly in the eye and said "she'll be fine, Barney. I know it" and kissed my cheek.