ᴏɴᴇꜱʜᴏᴛꜱ ; ɴᴇᴡᴛᴍᴀꜱ

002 ⸺ try again

"And I know I've kissed you before but
I didn't do it right
Can I try again, try again, try again ?"
- Pink in the night, Mitski

Tw for death
+ page 250

Newt would never forget his first kiss with Thomas.

It was after he had spent a night in the maze. Newt still remembers the pain of seeing him run through the doors, thinking that he would never see him again. At that point his romantic feelings had only just begun to blossom. But it still hurt. Hurt to know that Alby, and Minho were also out there. Hurt to see his Tommy slip between his fingers into almost certain death.

But when Newt saw him and Minho dragging Alby back towards the glade, he believed he had never been happier, but he was furious as well. He was unbelievably angry at Thomas. At how he could just put himself in danger, running into the maze, to save people he hadn't even known for a week. No one else in the glade would've done it, so why did Thomas do it ?

That night was a blur. Thomas was so hurt, he looked so scared so exhausted, and it hurt Newt to see him like that. It hurt Newt to see his Tommy hurting. And when he finally got some alone time with Thomas he made sure that he knew just how upset Newt was with him.

Newt poured his heart out to Thomas that night. Telling him how scared he was. How he didn't want to loose Thomas. He told him how much he cared for him, how he had made life seem brighter and worth living. How he made Newt's world better just by existing.

Newt told him how he found his curiosity endearing, and how he loved how he hadn't know any of them for more than a few days but was already putting all of them before himself. But he also said that he didn't want Thomas to put them before himself, that he couldn't constantly throw himself into danger like that. And that, as bad as it may sound, Newt needs him to be selfish sometimes and to put himself first.

Newt would alway remember how Thomas' eyes widened and his face flushed. He clearly wasn't used to being complemented, to being told how great of a person he really was. And Newt hated that because he believed Thomas deserves to be told that. He deserves to have someone look at him the way Newt did.

When he finished his rant Newt was out of breath, he could feel tears sting the back of his eyes, and he didn't have the energy to keep them from pooling in his eyes and running down his face. He had never been that open with anyone, he had only known Thomas for a few days but he trusted him. He decided the moment he saw him risk his life for Alby and Minho that he would follow him anywhere.

Slowly Thomas stepped forward, placing a hand on the side of Newt's face and gently brushing away his tears with his thumb. Newt immediately melted into the touch, bringing his hand to hold Thomas' wrist and using the other to gently grab his hips and pull him close, so that their bodies were flush against each other.

He wasn't expecting a kiss, but he welcomed it when Thomas slowly closed the gap between them and pressed their lips together.

The kiss was messy, and slightly awkward as neither of them had much experience, but it was perfect for Newt. He loved the way their lips fit together. He loved the feeling of Thomas' hands lightly ghosting over his torso. He loved the soft sounds Thomas made when they pulled away to gasp for air before continuing as if they hadn't ever parted in the first place. Thomas' lips weren't like he thought, he had always thought they had seemed rough and chapped, but they felt so incredibly soft on his own, and he never wanted to stop kissing him. He decided in that moment that he would never get tired of kissing Thomas.