𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒 || 𝟏𝐒𝐓 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 ||

Chapter 50

~Madison~
———————

It's my eighteenth birthday, and what other better way to celebrate your birthday by grieving your father?

He might of not been a good one, but he made my childhood good. I hate him for what he did to me, but I can't seem to fully hate him.

I just wanted to be seen by him.

I'm on the beach, close to our house, I always thought I'd celebrate it, a big, massive celebration.

With my family, friends and even enemies, and I always thought I'd wake up with both of my parents wishing me a happy birthday like every single other year.

But no. It was only my mum.

I was walking around the beach, watching the sunset —enjoying the breeze of the wind against my body— I see a group of fathers with their daughters great the last thing I wanted to see today.

It's been 6 days since my Father's Day, I somehow feel guilty, I know it's not my fault, I really do - I just can't help it.

I let my feet adjust to the sand beneath my toes, sitting down on the sand, looking at the sunset as a picture of me and my father chasing after me when I was five.

I drop my phone next to me, not caring if sand ends up inside it. I close my eyes, trying to stop the memories from coming but it just makes it worse; all type of memories flash through my eyes.

Me crying and him taking care of me, he'd been the best father I could have asked for. At least for little me. I loved him —do I still love him?— no matter what he did to me, I can't seem to hate him for real.

That's what makes ME hate myself, I hate myself for not hating him. For not DESPING him.

He did wrong, and not only to me but to other people as well, I will get used to the idea of him being gone right?

The last moments of him being alive comes through my mind as the words keep repeating through my head.

I open my eyes, the breeze of the wind making my hair fly backwards, the sun reflecting into my face.

I jump at the voices I could hear in the distance ''HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!'' Elenor, Ella, Avery, Ariana, Jane and Taylor shouted at the same time.

(Jane being the red head and Taylor being Ariana's childhood friend —you will have way more reading-time with them in the second book—).

They ran up to me, hugging me tight, they drop me to the floor as they were fighting on to who hug me first, Stacy since she was more little then the others managed to get through and hug me.

''Hey gorgeous'' I say to Stacy who looks up at me with a smile ''I missed you'' I kissed her forehead ''I missed you too, even though I saw you last night'' she giggled and hid her face in my chest.

''Okay y'all fuck off'' Elenor came and hugged me tight, then Ariana, then Avery, then Taylor and then Jane.

''How are you feeling?'' Ariana whispered in my ear, I looked at her and smiled, I wasn't sure if it was a genuine one or a fake one, but what I did know is that they made me feel better, I've only known Taylor, Jane and Ariana not for so long and they made me happy, like they were missing from my life, so as Ella.