backwards

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NOVA=== ==== ==== ====09/09/2002Phoenix, ArizonaRedhawk Base==== ==== ==== ====

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NOVA
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09/09/2002
Phoenix, Arizona
Redhawk Base
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If somebody had told me last month that I was going to get a deporting order today, I'd have jumped for joy like a madwoman.

Now it's actually reality, I don't know how to feel.

For some incomprehensible reason, I don't want to leave.

Maybe I'll just quit altogether. Live a normal life. Get a normal job. Find a real place in the world that isn't concealed behind walls made of barbed wire.

No. That isn't me.

Is it?

"Nova."

I halt in my tracks as I hear that familiar voice, a much softer tone than usual. I debate turning around, but I continue walking towards my cabin.

"Nova, wait."

My hand rests on the handle as I eventually turn around, looking upwards to meet his hardened gaze.

"What?" I ask bluntly, twisting the handle on my door; waiting for the opportunity to walk inside.

"Are you okay with this?" Leo says quietly. Is this even him speaking right now? It's too soft. Too gentle. Too fucking weird.

"Of course I am." I mutter, realising I'm lying straight through my gritted teeth.

"But-"

"We both got what we wanted." I murmur, opening the door to my cabin. He jams the door with his foot before I can close it, muttering something incoherently.

"Leo, move your fucking foot." I hiss at him, patience hanging on by a thread that's about to be severed.

"I can't."

"I'm not asking, I'm telling you." Taking matters into my own hands, I kick his foot, causing it to slide out of the way as I slam my door before he can say or do anything else.

What the fuck is his issue? He can't stand me, right?

Another knock on my door a few hours later. I look out of the peephole, checking it isn't him. Thankfully, it's Tara. I open the door immediately.

"Hey Novie." She says cheerfully, inviting herself into my room. I don't mind. Tara has honestly become one of my best friends. She's so sweet for a special op, who has the most perfect precision with a sniper rifle at that.

"Tara. You alright?" I ask, closing the door behind her as she sits on the stool in my room.

"Yeah. Have you had another argument with Hendrix?" She asks suddenly, catching me off guard.

"Nothing beyond a usual bicker, why do you ask?" I question, heading to my bed and perching myself on the edge.

"He hasn't spoken to anyone all afternoon, not even Jed. He's in a foul mood, so I just thought I'd check."

Weird.

"Well, I'll tell you this because I love 'ya. Im getting deported." I admit suddenly, watching her face twist into a look of complete distress.

"What!?" She exclaims, literally looking like she was about to burst out into tears.

"Yeah, North has had enough of me and Leo working together. I can't exactly blame him." I sigh. Tara stands up and immediately hugs me.

"Are you okay?" She whispers.

"I have no idea." I murmur.

She pulls away from the hug with a saddened look on her face, "it'll be so weird without you, Novie."

I'm having damn deja vu from when I left the Falcon's and was saying goodbye to Lisa.

"Hey, you're my sister now. We will still be able to call between bases. Hopefully we get put on missions together at some point in the future, yeah?" She says reassuringly, an element of sadness still filtering through her words.

I nod slowly, giving her a small smile.

"I hope so. I'll miss you too, Tarantino." I say with a small chuckle. I don't really know where her nickname came from. We were all just eating dinner, discussing Tarantino's movies. Jed pointed out that Tarantino had 'Tara' in it. It just stuck, in a completely dumb way.

She gives me a grin and starts hugging me again. It seems like she's honestly going to have separation anxiety from me.

And for some Godforsaken reason, I feel like I'm going to have separation anxiety from the fucking Hawk's.

———————-
12/09/2002

This has been the quickest 3 days of my entire life.

The rhythmic thumping of the choppers blades hits against my eardrums as I'm heading across base with Tara, ready to leave. I stop to talk to a few members of the group, all of them seeming genuinely sad that I'm leaving.

We approach the helipad, located near the barbed fences. Two figures are standing next to the chopper, almost getting blown away.

North; and to my complete surprise, Leo.

"How're you feeling, Shields?" North asks as Leo picks up my bag and carelessly lobs it onto the chopper. Jesus, it's like he wants me out of here as soon as fucking possible.

"Perfectly fine," I murmur, lying through my teeth once again.

"I hope we will see you again in the future. I'm sure we will, on missions and whatnot." North reassures, as though he can see right through me. I nod with a completely artificial grin plastered across my face, shaking his hand.

Tara wraps me into what feels like the hundredth hug of the day. I'm not complaining.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Novie." She murmurs into my shoulder. I think she's the only teammate who's ever called me my full name. Probably because nobody else knows it.

"The feelings mutual, Tara." I smile into the hug before she hesitantly pulls away.

My attention is then forced to face Leo.

He sticks out his hand, and I shake it briefly. He stays silent for a fair few seconds before letting go of his grip.

"Take care of yourself, Shields."

I nod slightly, turning away before muttering over my shoulder.

"You too, Hendrix."

And with that brief goodbye, I pull myself up and into the chopper; sliding on the headset as I pull the door shut and don't look back.

I guess the only way forwards for me, is backwards.

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