Wish We Never Started

8

Before I left the party for home, Amelia scribbled her number in sharpie across the back of my hand.

I stare at it now in the moonlit darkness, examining each number as I lay under my covers.

Are you awake? I text her, aware this is the worst thing I could possibly start a message with.

So bad, in fact, I send the same message to Sadie.

After both are sent, I drop my phone and pick at my fingernails. Back home, before this move, my phone was buzzing with text messages and voicemails. Now, I am sending sad text messages to girls I like – and for what?

My mind drifts to Sofia. My longest girlfriend here.

I go to my blocked numbers, hovering my thumb over the option to unblock.

It feels like a weight is tied to my nail, just forcing the pad of my finger down. The slightest touch and it's done.

A message comes back from Sadie, wavering my finger away for now.

Yes, why do you ask? ....

I respond quickly, biting the nails off of my other hand.

I didn't see you at work today.

I roll over onto my side, staring at the screen. The typing bubbles pop up.

It was soooo busy, and then Shannon picked me up.

I roll my eyes. Shannon. Just seeing her name makes me want to puke.

So when are you going to let me walk you home? Or maybe somewhere for drinks? I thought you had a car?

After hitting send, I gingerly place the phone next to my pillow and close my eyes. Not even a minute later, the screen brightens and illuminates my face with Sadie's message.

Maybe tomorrow after work. It is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, the wildest night of the year. It should be fun. :-)

I do a double take. She suggested a time and date? Is this what I think it is? Part of me says yes, and the other part doesn't want to label it.

Amelia answers me right before I put my phone down for the night.

Just got out of the shower, wanna see? xx

Of course I say yes.

***

The next day at work, I can only think of one thing: being with Sadie later. Her smile flickers each time we pass each other.

Now there is only five minutes left to my shift and I'm finishing up the load of dishes that just came in, rinsing and scrubbing as quickly as I can. Hopefully, Jonathan shows up soon.

"Hi," I hear a female voice behind me, "do you still want to get drinks?"

I whip my head around and see Sadie, in a dark green tube top and high waisted jeans. Her hair is up in a perfectly messy bun. She has makeup on, but just on her eyes and lips – something I've never seen before on her.

"Who is this?" I ask jokingly while I take her in, leaning back against the sink, "you look amazing."

Sadie crosses her arms and gives me a look, like she knows she looks good but doesn't want to admit it.

"So, is that a yes?" she pokes my arm playfully.

"Yes, absolutely," I respond without hesitation.