Wish We Never Started

34

"Sadie, no, I'm not finished," I yell after her, standing up, but she's hurrying away so fast.

"I don't want to talk to you," she says without turning around, the trail of her breath floating into the black sky.

I'm starting to shiver now as I chase her, but I could be on the verge of death and I'd still do this.

"We're getting divorced. I signed the papers back in California, before I moved here. It was over the second I stepped onto the plane with the stuff I could fit into a suitcase and carry-on. Remember when you called me Gabe and I told you I'd tell you the reason why I hate it one day? Well, this is the day, and she's why I hate it."

Sadie keeps walking and I keep following after her brown hair.

"The marriage was arranged. We loathe each other. I can't fucking stand her. My mom made her come here because I started the new job. My family thinks we're still together... bunch of idiots."

"How is any of this possible?" Sadie snaps, stopping in her tracks. She turns around and looks at me through wet eyelashes, a trail of tears streaking her cheeks.

"When you are born into my family apparently you can be manipulated into anything!" I say, mock happiness in my voice.

"So that's who is in your apartment?" Sadie asks, sniffling. It almost looks like reality is seeping back into her face.

"Yes," I confirm.

"Why is she in your bed if you loathe each other?"

My hands press into my face. There is no way I can make this sound real and as bad as it is.

"Because she just got here this afternoon and she's leaving in the morning. The ticket is booked. I don't even know where she's going. Home, I guess? So I'm just letting her stay. Whatever. This is hopefully the last time I ever see her."

Sadie sniffles again, tucking some hair behind her ears. "And the paper with the number on it that fell out of your pocket?"

My eyebrow raises, my memory trickling back to that night. She remembers. As if this couldn't get any worse, she brings up the paper from Astrid.

"Astrid. A friend. I'm pretty sure her and Diego are on their second date already."

Sadie nods, her body language becoming a bit less rigid and skeptical. Maybe she believes me and maybe this won't be as bad as I'm thinking it will be.

"I hate seeing you upset," I say, taking two steps towards her. She doesn't run, just hugs herself tighter. We're both shivering now and the rain has fully stopped.

"Let's go inside somewhere. It's cold."

"Okay," Sadie agrees, looking around.

"Come on," I urge, reaching out my hand. I try to get a read on what Sadie will do next, my eyes focused on her green ones.

She hesitantly grabs my hand, both of them cold from the outside air.

Instinctively, I pull her closer and wrap my arms around her waist in a hug. She reciprocates, hugging me tightly like this is her forgiving me. At least it feels that way.

"I believe you, Gabriel, I do. It's just that this is all kind of a big shock, you know?" She mumbles into my neck.

"I know," I whisper against her hair.

We stand there for a few more seconds before pulling away, our hands still connected. I tug her down the sidewalk towards a diner that's open this late at night. The diner that I originally wanted to go to.

"Gabriel, I want you to know something," Sadie whispers, her eyes lowered towards the ground once again.

"What is it?" I ask, my voice quiet as we get closer to the entrance.

"I've missed you," she says softly. "And I want this to be something more than just friends. Maybe this has just put it in perspective for me and I don't want to wait any longer. The things I feel with you are way more than anything I've ever felt before. I want this to be something more than what it's been. I'm sorry I said I wish we never started earlier. I'd restart with you ten thousand times if I had to."

Her words catch me off guard. I pause in front of the double doors of the twenty four hour diner, staring at the woman in front of me. The aftermath of her tears a few minutes ago shines on her face in the moonlight, eyes still puffy. Does she mean it? It sure looks like she does.

I cup her cheeks and pull her face closer to mine. Her hands wrap around my wrists, a connection stronger than words. Something I never thought I'd feel with anyone, and here it is, with Sadie.

Everything becomes clear in this moment.

"I—" I begin, but I can't even speak.

Instead, my lips find hers, and seconds later we're backed up against the building.

"Gabriel," she says breathlessly, some hair sticking to her cheeks, "I want you to be my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" I repeat, my lips hovering near hers. "I want you to be my girlfriend."

Sadie grins, pulling herself against my chest. She fits there perfectly and all I want to do is bottle up this moment and remember how it feels forever.

"So is it official?" She asks, taking both of my hands. She bites her lip back, keeping a smile from her face.

"Yes, absolutely," I answer, squeezing her hands. "Now let's go inside because it's freezing."

We're both shivering as I hold the door for her, stepping inside the diner which has an oddly sterile feel. I've never been to this place, despite it being closer to my apartment than the one I worked in.

We take seats across from each other in a booth next to the windows, our hands intertwining on the table.

"You're so beautiful," I say, relief washing over me for whatever reason. Maybe because it's over—we're together.

But it's true, Sadie looks so beautiful. She always does. Her hair is almost dry now, waving ever so slightly. I can't believe I'm in her presence, let alone her boyfriend.

"Stop it," she blushes, kicking me gently from under the booth.

"What? It's true. I just want to compliment my girlfriend."

More blushing, but her feet remain still as she locks eyes with me again. It feels like we could do this forever—zone out and stare at each other until the world implodes.

"This night really took a turn," I say, brushing my thumb over the back of her hand.

"But I wouldn't change it," she whispers.