Wish We Never Started

5

The first half of the week, I don't see Sadie at all. We haven't texted since the night before our first day of work, which was almost 2 weeks ago.

But tonight, a cold and rainy November evening, I see her on my lunch break for just a minute.

Something is off – I can feel it.

She is grabbing something from her locker while I eat a cheeseburger I kept in the employee fridge from the night before.

"Sadie, wait."

I go out on a limb and hope she listens.

"Yeah?" She turns around and cocks her head, stuffing her hands in the little pockets on the front of her apron.

"It was cool seeing you the other night. I didn't know you had a sister."

Sadie nods, but her lips still look tight.

"Yeah," she pinches the bridge of her nose with her forefinger and thumb, "I have to get back."

"What is wrong?" I ask, a little more harsh than I wanted it to sound.

Sadie sighs, her shoulders dropping with the exhale.

"It doesn't matter. You don't really know me and I don't really know you. We're just co-workers."

I cross my arms. It is mildly frustrating, I have to admit. Maybe there is something else. Maybe she has a boyfriend, or maybe being friends with the opposite sex makes her uncomfortable. I am really grasping at straws, but the one thing that I do know is that I can't force anything.

"Right. Sorry. We are just co-workers," I repeat to her and myself.

"Great," she says while turning to leave again.

I take a bite of my cheeseburger. That was stupid.

After my shift is over, I walk home in the rain and let myself get soaked. It feels humbling and I feel insanely idiotic.

I make the floor of the elevator wet and hope whoever gets on next doesn't slip and break a bone, but even if they do, it's not my fault.

Once inside my apartment, I turn the shower on hot and let it run for a few minutes.

My phone was buzzing on the way home but I didn't check it yet. I decide to before I get in the shower.

I have messages from Diego (just a meme), my mom, and Sadie. I open my mom's message first:

Hi dear Gabriel. I hope you are ok. It has been a while since I heard from you. Please call me tonight or tomorrow. The days are getting cold here. Mom

I chuckle to myself, because whenever my mom texts me, she makes it sound like she's going to perish from low food supply.

Then, I open Sadie's message:

If you're willing, call me. I want to say some things I couldn't really say at work. I'll be up most of the night

Sadie wants me to call her? As in, dial her number, or press her number, or whatever one does these days to call someone else? I feel a little overwhelmed because suddenly I've got two important phone calls to make.

My shower is extra short. I hop out and dry off with a towel, wrapping it around my waist. I don't even get out of the bathroom before Sadie's number is being dialed. It rings for what feels like ten minutes but is only the amount of time it takes for me to get from the bathroom to the couch. No answer.