His Sun is in Scorpio

Chapter 6: I Wanna Be Yours

I despised the thought of anyone discovering my feelings for Phoenix. I didn't want to be seen as just another girl wrapped around his finger. Yet, anyone who was perceptive could easily see through me, including the girls who flocked around him like seagulls.

Freshman Year - Second Semester

I met my friend Selena in middle school. Although we weren't very close at first, we spent a lot of time together when we shared classes. In 7th grade, we took a college readiness class and became much closer. By our freshman year, we were hanging out at each other's houses regularly, and Selena started to feel like family. She knew my family, and I knew hers. My mom even let me sleep over at her house, which she had never allowed before. However, during the second half of our freshman year, Selena started acting strange.

I knew Phoenix and Selena went to elementary school together by the class photo that hung on Selena's fridge. They had known each other for quite a while, but I never thought much about their relationship beyond that.

During lunch Selena approached me "Wanna hang Friday?" 

"Um, duhhhh" I smile. 

"Bet! My mom will pick us up after school." 

On Friday, I met Selena by the front doors, and we walked to her mom's car together. Selena's mom was white with straight blonde hair, while her dad, who was from El Salvador, had black hair, brown eyes, and a complexion as brown as mine. He was incredibly friendly and always made us laugh. Selena looked nothing like her mother. She had small, perfectly coiled curls that layered over more curls, making her hair bigger than her body. She was very small, she was the skinniest person I knew, with eyes the color of sunsets—golden brown. Though she didn't resemble her mother physically, she did inherit her personality.

When we got to her house we immediately laid down and started gossiping. She turned away from her phone, looked at me, and said, "So, you like Phoenix, huh?"

Her question catches me so off guard that I choke on my spit and start coughing before I can respond. "W-what are you talking about?" I stammer, completely unprepared for the conversation.

"I see the way you look at him, it's obvious you like him!"

"What are you talking about who is that?" 

"Antonella, please, I'm one of your best friends. You think I wouldn't notice?" 

I'm flustered and at a loss for words. I had planned to lie, but nothing came to mind. "Ugh, nobody else noticed! Not even Pretty or Arizona. Why are you doing this to me? Don't make me confess something so embarrassing."

Selena laughs. "Please, you should see how your eyes light up when he enters the room. I'll let you in on something... Phoenix comes over to hang out sometimes. He lives just a few blocks down the street."

"Really? I didn't know you guys were that close! Now that you know my secret, you have to swear to keep it and also be my right-hand man," I giggle.

"Well duh who else is going to get you two together, I'm gonna be like a spy in this bitch!" 

"You better! Well let's hear the information you've collected this far, does he talk about me? Does he talk about any other girls?" 

"Hmmm, let me think. Well, he did ask me for your Snapchat a while ago, but I already mentioned that to you. What I didn't tell you is that he was the one actually asking for it, not his friend. He was just too scared to admit he wanted it himself. But I do have to warn you, he's a player. He talks to countless girls, but he's rarely serious about any of them." says Selena. 

I'm not at all surprised. It stings, of course, but what can I really do about it? He's not mine to claim, so he's entitled to do as he pleases. 

"Somehow I'm not surprised, sounds just like him ugh he's so vile." 

"Yeah but you like him, even though he's so 'vile.'" 

"Yeah, well, I see it like an incurable disease. I didn't have a say in the matter. The sickness just caught me, and now there's no cure," I chuckle awkwardly. I didn't expect to feel this angry towards Phoenix or speak so negatively about him. The words just came out.

"Sheesh, you hate him that bad? Are you sure you like him?" Selena laughs. 

"I know it's not great that I like him. He's turned into such a jerk lately, and I've heard all sorts of things about him. He wasn't exactly nice in middle school either, but he wasn't as bad as he is now. I despise who he is now," I said, knowing it was a lie. 

Truth is, I found his impudence and cockiness strangely attractive. I've spent countless moments imagining his body and face in various scenarios; I found his physique very appealing. But I'd never admit any of this, especially knowing now how close Selena was to him. That night, as I headed home, I found myself feeling somewhat indifferent about Selena's relationship with Phoenix. Instead, my thoughts centered on how fortunate I was to have a friend who was close to my crush. I felt happy that she was willing to help me get closer to him, and I appreciated her solidarity, despite knowing Phoenix longer than she had known me. At least that's what I thought at the time. 

Selena and I planned a sleepover during spring break, during this time she and I were pretty much inseparable. I ate lunch with my best friend Pretty everyday but after school Selena and I would hangout constantly. When I got to Selena's house her dad was pumping air into a huge inflatable mattress and in the middle of the room there were a bunch of blankets and a mountain of pillows. 

Selena and I had planned a sleepover during spring break, during this time we were practically inseparable. While I still ate lunch with my best friend Pretty every day, after school, Selena and I would spend most of our time together after school. When I arrived at Selena's house, her dad was busy pumping air into a huge inflatable mattress. In the middle of the room, there were blankets strewn about and a mountain of pillows. As we waited for the mattress to inflate Selena's mom called us over for dinner. 

After dinner, Selena and I sat on the mattress and chose a movie, although, I can't seem to recall which one since we talked through the entire thing. The main topic of conversation was Phoenix. I began to notice something peculiar about Selena's behavior—she was always the first to bring up Phoenix. Initially, I didn't think much of it, but I couldn't ignore the subtle shift in her demeanor.

"Phoenix is so annoying; he always wants to come over," Selena remarked.

"Well, you guys are friends, right? Maybe he feels like he can confide in you. I just wish he felt comfortable doing the same with me. I really like him," I confessed. Around this time, I began to feel more at ease discussing my feelings with Selena. I even told her that I was in love Phoenix. There was something freeing about sharing such a deep secret with someone I trusted.

"Yeah, maybe, but he's always texting me, calling me, and coming over," Selena remarked, rolling her eyes. 

I giggle. "He's needier than I thought. That's pretty cute though. Does he ever talk about me?"

"Mmm no not really. Although yesterday he said you had a 'banging body' he's such a pig. He did say your body was his favorite though." 

Now, I know girls aren't supposed to take such comments as compliments, but considering I wasn't always fond of my body, I felt quite satisfied that Phoenix took a liking to it—especially since my feelings towards his body was mutual.

"Oh, really? That's interesting," I replied, attempting to sound nonchalant. I didn't want Selena to think I enjoyed those compliments. It wasn't that I particularly liked those specific compliments, but I appreciated the fact that they came from Phoenix.

The more we talked, the more suspicious I became of her. I couldn't fall asleep; everything she said bothered me. "He texts me all the time" and "he comes over always" felt like she was gloating, especially since I'd confided my feelings about Phoenix to her countless times. I felt confused. So, I did something a friend should never do; I waited for her to fall asleep so I could go through her phone.

I grabbed her finger and unlocked her phone and after that everything changed.