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jennie sat on the window sill, gazing out at the city below, lost in the rhythmic hum of the night. the moon cast a gentle glow, highlighting the contours of her face, now adorned with a subtle melancholy. the night hung heavy with a quiet tension in the dorm. jisoo's soft snores drifted from the adjacent room, leaving jennie alone with her thoughts.
the room was silent except for the distant sounds of the city and the apartment felt emptier than usual tonight. lisa was out with rosé, and jennie couldn't shake the feeling of being a mere placeholder in lisa's heart.
in the complexity of their love triangle, jennie often found solace in these stolen moments – the times when it was just her and lisa, free from the looming shadow of rosé. these moments were like fragile treasures, a respite from the emotional battlefield she navigated each day.
as her phone played shuffled songs, the lyrics of a certain song reverberated through her, mirroring the ache within. the unspoken weight of unreciprocated love burdened her, and in an attempt to escape the silence, she decided to connect with the one constant in her life – their fans.
jennie grabbed her phone and started a vlive broadcast, the dim glow of her phone illuminating her room. shyly, she greeted the fans, her smile masking the tumultuous emotions within. the chat buzzed with excitement as viewers from around the world poured in to connect with her.
"hey, everyone... it's jennie," she greeted, her eyes flickering between the camera and the messages flooding in. "i thought i'd hang out with you tonight since everyone else is asleep."
the fans showered her with love, and jennie couldn't help but feel a warmth in their virtual presence. as she engaged in lighthearted conversations, the weight on her shoulders seemed to momentarily lift.
then, a quiet voice within her urged her to share more, to let the fans in on the emotions she had kept hidden. with a deep breath, she decided to sing the exact lyrics from an earlier song that echoed the sentiments she couldn't voice directly.
"i live to appreciate you
take all the love that i give
all that i wish is for you to take me
but i taste the lies on your lips"
the vulnerability in her voice resonated with the fans, who listened in rapt silence. jennie's eyes remained closed, her heart pouring into each word as she navigated the emotional landscape of the lyrics. as jennie poured her heart into the poignant lyrics, her voice carrying the weight of unspoken emotions, she felt a comforting embrace from the fans' supportive messages flooding the chat. midway through the verse, she paused, her eyes flickering to the comments that were filled with concern.
"jennie, are you okay?"
"why does this song feel so personal?"
"we're here for you, jennie."
a small, genuine smile graced her lips as she read the words of comfort. it was a beautiful reminder of the genuine connection she shared with the fans, a connection that transcended the boundaries of distance and screens.
"i'm okay, really," she assured them, her voice soft but filled with gratitude. "thank you for checking in. let's continue with the song."
with a deep breath, jennie resumed singing, each note resonating with a newfound strength. the vulnerability in her voice, now accompanied by the unwavering support of the fans, created a powerful harmony that echoed through the virtual space.
"i count the days when we're in love
'cause i only matter when she's not around
oh, but i live to appreciate you
take all the love that i give"
as the last note faded away, the chat erupted with supportive messages, emojis of hearts and encouragement flooding the screen. "thank you," she whispered to the camera, a genuine smile breaking through the vulnerability.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
the door creaked open, and jennie turned to see lisa entering, a smile playing on her lips. the atmosphere shifted as if a storm had passed, and jennie forced a smile in return. they exchanged pleasantries, but the unspoken tension lingered.
"jennieee," lisa called the older girl, peeking in through the creak of the door. "i brought you milk ice cream," she beamed, holding up the treat that she knew had the power to make jennie's day a whole lot better.
"hey, lisa, how's the date?" jennie gave her a soft smile, trying to mask the turmoil within. she tapped the space beside her, signaling lisa to come in.
lisa entered her room and threw herself on jennie's bed, sighing with contentment. she closed her eyes, a smile playing on her lips. "ah, it was good. we went to a trampoline park. you should've come with us!"
jennie chuckled, a mixture of relief and yearning in her eyes. "sounds fun. maybe next time," she replied, her fingers idly tracing patterns on the edge of her bedspread. the atmosphere in the room felt lighter, if only for a moment, as they navigated the delicate balance of their friendship.
lisa opened her eyes, fixing them on jennie. "is everything okay?" she asked, her gaze searching for any hint of distress. the unspoken tension that had lingered earlier still hung in the air, and lisa couldn't ignore the undercurrents of emotion.
jennie hesitated for a moment before offering a reassuring smile. "yeah, everything's fine. just had a lot on my mind today," she said, choosing to keep the depth of her thoughts hidden beneath the surface. she didn't want to burden lisa with the complexities of her emotions.
lisa nodded, a thoughtful expression on her face. "if you ever want to talk about it, you know i'm here, right?" she offered, genuine concern etched in her features.
jennie appreciated the gesture, feeling a flicker of warmth amidst the uncertainties. "thanks, lisa. i appreciate that," she replied, hoping that one day she would find the courage to share the intricacies of her heart with her bandmate.
lisa's attention was a fickle thing, and jennie couldn't help but wonder if she was merely a convenience, a temporary fix for the void rosé left behind when she was absent. the room felt heavy with the weight of unspoken words, and jennie's heart yearned for clarity.
as the night unfolded, jennie found herself lost in a dance of emotions. the stolen moments of appreciation became a lifeline, and she clung to them like a drowning sailor to a piece of driftwood. in these moments, she could almost forget the presence of rosé, the lingering doubts, and the taste of lies.
but the morning sun brought a harsh reality. rosé's presence became a constant reminder, a specter that haunted the edges of their love. jennie's devotion remained unwavering, yet she couldn't escape the nagging question: was she enough for lisa?
days turned into weeks, and the cycle repeated. the stolen moments of appreciation became both a source of comfort and a bitter pill to swallow. jennie yearned for a love that transcended the shadows, a love that stood strong even in the presence of others. the ache in her heart grew, but so did her determination.
she believed in the possibility of a future where their love would shine unburdened, where she wouldn't feel like a secondary choice. until then, jennie would continue to live for those stolen moments, caught between the love she craved and the reality she faced, hoping that one day, lisa would fully appreciate the love she offered.
