In other dimensions Savannah would not be dealing with depression. Savannah wouldn't be planning to kill herself at the end of next month. In other dimensions Savannah wouldn't have met Charlie.
In other dimensions Charlie would be trying to talk t...
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SAVANNAH
THE FOG IS BACK I can't focus on Ivy's presence and the words she's saying. I feel as if I was standing in never-ending rain that soaks through my bones and makes me close my eyes. Every time I open them rain patters in front of me and out of instinct I close them again.
My body is cold against my sheets and I turn over just to be met with notifications on my phone.
Charlie's name pops up and I don't have the strength to answer his messages.
He texted me last night when Cain finally left and even then I didn't have the power and the will to answer him. I feel bad leaving him hanging but my body seems too heavy to move and my eyes only see black and white.
I feel suffocated, when Ivy shuffles around the room and goes into the bathroom.
I wish I could tell her that I'm doing bad so she'd just leave me be and not wait for an answer when asking me a question. I feel the words in my throat but they get stuck there and don't come out. Agonising loneliness pulls at my chest and I move to feel the beating of my heart.
It's quiet, almost gone.
In these moments I feel as if I wasn't alive. As if I was just a spirit roaming through this room, trying to touch everything but scared to, because my touch would taint everything.
I hear the shower turn on but the sound is distant. The isolation in my brain breaks through as my phone rings.
It's Charlie.
"Siri, answer the call." I manage to whisper but my voice sounds like another. It's unrecognisable and crushed. On the brink of breaking down.
"Sava-haha! Hey! Hi! Hello!" His voice lessens the fog and the rain stops for a second.
It brings me back to when Eret was here. When Eret was the only person who could bring me out of this act of drowning. I'm aching for his presence but he's not here.
We Paisley kids had to keep together if we wanted to survive with our parents. That's why Enzo and I don't get along anymore. It's too hard looking at each other when Eret was the one who made us stick together.
I whisper a hi and feel my bones cracking.
"Do you like painting?" He asks and I can't answer, I only manage a hum out of my chest and he accepts it as an answer. "I have a dashing collection of paints and some canvases. Would you care to join me at the park?"
When I don't answer he lets out a sigh and I catch myself dreading the time when he will finally realise I'm not worth it. He will leave and I'll feel even more alone than I do now, even if it seems impossible.
"Is it bad today?" He asks, concern lacing his tongue and I hum, closing my eyes, imagining his face in front of mine, as if he were right here, laying besides me and his breath fanning my face as he talks. "Is it okay if I come over to yours?"
