Midnight Rain - L.B.

Prologue

My dearest love,

The moment I broke your heart is a time I cannot forget. A second of pain that flashed through your eyes that won't leave my mind.

This letter may never reach you. It will likely stay at the bottom of my dresser for the rest of my days.

But a piece of me needs you to see it.

I know I have no right to reach out to you.

I know I have no right to call you "love."

Nor can I call you mine.

And I'm dreadfully aware I cannot go back and fix it. So fucking aware I can't make up for the hurt I caused.

But you have to know that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry from the deepest chambers of my heart.

I could gift you a sky of the most beautiful and peaceful golden Midnight Rain and it wouldn't be enough to show my apologies. My regret.

Hurting you hurt me more than I ever thought it could.

When you asked me, I wasn't ready. That much is obvious.

But I've come to realize over these past years that maybe it was less of me not being ready, and more of me being too scared of screwing it up.

I loved you more than I loved myself.

I needed you more than I needed the air I breathe.

And I was so afraid you'd get tired of that. Of the constant need I had to be around you. The constant feeling of if I only saw your smile once in a day, everything would be alright. I was afraid I would get boring to you. I would get to be too much work.

So I hurt you before you could hurt me and scratched it off as not being ready.

I'm sorry.

God, I'm so sorry.

If I could go back and change my mind, I would do it in an instant. I hope you know that.

But mostly, I hope you know, you were my first love. I was so deeply and hopelessly in love with you. You were my first friend. I don't believe I'll ever love the same.

Goodbye, my dear.

Forever yours,