someone to stay

2.

the next morning i woke up. leah was already ready to go down to breakfast.

"morning" she said.

"hm"

i rolled over and covered myself in my duvet.

"you coming to breakfast" she asked.

"you go. i'll come later" i mumbled.

she walked out and i got out of bed.

i went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and washed my face.

i took off my shirt and looked at my ribs. the bruising is still there but it's got a bit better.

i got dressed and then went down to breakfast.

everyone was in their own friend groups so i grabbed my food and went and sat at a table on my own.

i got my phone out and saw a message from my mum.

mum: hi honey, have a great training day today. message me when your free. i love you x
me: hi mum, im just at breakfast now. we're only doing a gym session today. i'll speak to you later though. love you loads x

i smiled, thinking about my mum.

she's always been my best friend. when nobody else was there for me, she was. when my dad had taken his anger out on me, she was there.

i've never been in a serious relationship. they all last around a week and then they leave. and if it's not like that, it's just a one night hook up.

"hey" leah said sitting down in front of me.

"hi" i said. the smile dropped from my face.

"some of the girls are doing a movie thing tonight, do you want to come?" she asked.

"dunno ill see. who's going?" i asked.

i don't want to fully separate myself from the girls. i want us to get along but i can't help but feel that they don't want to talk to me.

"me, kei, g, lucy, tooney, mary and less" she said. "some more people might come too but i don't know"

"ill decide later" i said. i got up and walked away.

i went to the changing rooms and took off my jumper and kept my top on. then i went to the gym where most people had already made their way.

i went and used the different machines doing my usual work outs.

i could feel several pairs of eyes on me.

i went and lifted some weights. heavier than i normally do.

i heard whispering around me.

i looked and saw jordan and lucy speaking behind their hands, occasionally glancing towards me.

lovely.

usually i wouldn't take that but i decided not to say anything for the sake of the team. i definitely don't need to be having fights with anyone at my first england call up.

i was all sweaty and felt disgusting so i went to the changing rooms.

i took off my top and then heard the door open.

"your disgusting you know that?"

jordan.

"hm so i've been told" i said. i still didn't look at her.

"i can't believe you've got the nerve to show up here and act like this" she said.

"what do you mean?" i said. i knew exactly what she meant. i put my jumper on.