Just The Two of Us (Johnnyboy)

Chapter Six

In the morning, Ponyboy wakes up to the rising sun shining in his face through the cracks in the blinds. Johnny is still where he was when Pony fell asleep, right by his side, snuggled into him. He's still asleep. He looks so handsome sleeping.

I sure am hungry... Ponyboy thinks before seeing Johnny and remembering everything from last night. He was hoping he could just sleep it off, but to his horror it wasn't appearing to be working. Ponyboy shoots out of bed and runs to the kitchen to eat. Sodapop and Darry are already there. Ponyboy is still thinking about everything that was said last night; it didn't just go away like he thought it would. Johnny loves him, but he'll never be able to show it. Ponyboy will never be able to show it.

Ponyboy's thoughts get interrupted by the creaking of his bedroom door as Johnny walks out rubbing his eyes. He looks so cute.

"Morning Johnny!" Ponyboy says, trying to act normal. He wants to be as dismissive of whatever last night was as possible.

"Morning Ponyboy." Johnny says in his normal tone of voice. But Ponyboy can see the longing in Johnny's eyes. The longing to be able to express the feelings for the one he loves. But Ponyboy will barely admit his feelings. Johnny feels low. He wishes the world could know he loves Ponyboy.

"Uh, breakfast is ready." Ponyboy turns away quickly, not ready to see his face for long. He knows it'll only hurt. And Ponyboy knows how to run from hurt like a pro. Or at least, he lied to himself about that.

"Alright, Pony." Johnny says quietly. He grabs some eggs and bacon from the plate sitting on the counter, and sits next to Ponyboy at the dining table, like he does everyday. They usually chat and have a nice conversation. But this time, it feels awkward to talk. Johnny's heart is beating out of his chest while he has a slight blush on his cheeks. He keeps thinking about how much he loves Ponyboy and how badly he wishes he could express it. Ponyboy will barely admit his feelings and it hurts. Johnny hopes Ponyboy loves him just as much too even if he can't express it like he wishes they could.

Dally notices Johnny's off behavior. "Johnnycakes - what's up, man? You seem more weird than normal today."

"I have a lot on my mind Dal." Johnny says wistfully as he catches a small glance at Ponyboy. He sighs down at his plate.

"Well, you wanna share?" Dally asks, but not pushing it. He knows how Johnny can be, and he doesn't want to make him feel uncomfortable with him. He knows he'd forgive him anyway, but still. He legitimately cares for Johnny.

"No!"Johnny says a little too quickly and defensive sounding than normal. He has to calm down. Dallas can't know about this. He sighs then looks back up at Dallas. "I mean... no."

Dally raises an eyebrow and looks at him. "You don't usually talk like that." He crosses his arms and inhales his cigarette smoke. "What's up, man? You gonna say?"

"No... I'm not Dal. It's kind of a lot. I don't wanna talk about it." Johnny says avoiding Dally's eye. Johnny is embarrassed. If Dally found out that Johnny liked Ponyboy and he was a queer... oh god. Johnny loves Dally and he knows he loves him too. He isn't sure what he would do. Johnny is getting nervous and shaky just thinking about it.

"Well how about you eat some of that food and then we'll talk?" Dally says. He can tell Johnny is upset, and possibly in danger. Yeah, it could just be his old man bothering him again, but he's shaking. Johnny doesn't get like that from a plain old beating.

"I-I don't wanna talk Dally. I don't, man." Johnny says. His breathing is picking up slightly as he shakes. Dally doesn't like queers. He makes fun of them all the time. Johnny doesn't want Dally to know he likes Ponyboy. Johnny doesn't want anyone to know. The only person who knows is Ponyboy. They're desperately trying to suppress their feelings for each other, but it isn't working.