Just The Two of Us (Johnnyboy)

Chapter Seven

"Pony..." Johnny says looking up at Ponyboy as he stands in the rainy, muddy, lot. They're both breathing heavily, still holding hands. "Thanks man for getting me away from Dally. I was getting a bit scared."

"It's nothing, really." Ponyboy says, still out of breath. Not from the running, but from the fear of Dally finding out. He was more scared for Johnny; he knew it'd break his heart if Dally turned on him.

"I've been wanting to talk to you more about everything since we haven't really. Last time you were pretty much in denial." Johnny says, rubbing the back of his neck. His dark hair is all wet and plastered to his forehead. Johnny's brown eyes look into Ponyboy's. Ponyboy's eyes widened.

"Really?" He says, a little scared of the truth. "Denial? What do you mean?"

"You didn't wanna admit it man... that we are, you know..." Johnny stops and looks around. Then he whispers, "queers." Ponyboy bites his lip and closes his eyes.

"Don't say that. Please..." He knew how Darry felt about people like himself. He was just starting to have a relationship with his big brother, and he didn't want to ruin it all over again. It wasn't worth it. Plus, he knew the whole gang was against them, even if not all of them said it. He couldn't imagine if Soda turned on him. It would be too much to handle. He needed the gang, especially now more than ever.

"Pony we both know it's true. It isn't just going to go away." Johnny says as he takes Ponyboy's hands in his and gently rubs Ponyboy's soft hands with his scarred ones. Johnny let's go looking slightly embarrassed. He sighs and looks up at the rainy sky.

"Why does it have to be this way...?" Ponyboy asked, not wanting an answer. He wished he could just be normal, not having to hide or say this wasn't so. He sniffles, but not wanting the tears to fall from his eyes. He felt as fragile as glass standing out here in the rain, crying.

"I don't know Pony. But I know we can't hide from it forever. I just know we can't. I really do love you man. I know you love me too." Johnny says, trying not to let tears tumble down his face as he stands here with Ponyboy in the rain. Johnny has never felt this way about no human being ever. He loves Ponyboy. Johnny hopes Ponyboy loves him just as much as he does. Johnny knows he can't suppress his feelings forever like Pony seemingly can.

"Yeah we could! We could hide it. We could just pretend like this isn't true. And that all of our talks never happened. We're just friends, Johnny and that's all we'll ever be!" Ponyboy yells. He didn't mean to be so aggressive, and immediately regretted it when he saw Johnny's face. Johnny means the world to him, but he can't let that part of him win. It's bad, right? Then why does he want to give in so badly...

"I-I don't know if I can just pretend none of this ever happened! I know we're at least more than friends Pony. You admitted it last night and now you're taking it back. It hurts man! I've never felt this way about another person before..." Johnny says looking down at his feet avoiding the gaze of Ponyboy's eyes. Johnny feels really hurt right now. He's near tears and Ponyboy can probably tell due to his trembling voice. Now Ponyboy is yelling at him. Johnny thinks Ponyboy must be angry with him. It's not their fault they're queers.

"Johnny, I didn't mean to hurt you... At all... I just don't want my brother to know!" Ponyboy says, voice breaking and the tears finally falling.

"I don't want anyone to know either. My dad might kill me if he found out. But I-I love you man! I don't know if I can hide that forever." Johnny says as he finally allows tears to fall down his face. He's crying in the rain with Ponyboy. Johnny now looks him in the eye. Admiring his handsome face. Ponyboy looks at Johnny, his wet hair all in his face, his big brown eyes that seem to stare right into your soul, his soft lips that would feel so nice against his-

"I love you too..." Is all he says while noticing Johnny move in closer towards him. Johnny hugs Ponyboy and holds him in his warm embrace. Their faces are seemingly inches apart. Johnny admires Ponyboy's handsome face as he leans in and kisses him softly on the lips.

Ponyboy gasps, taken by surprise. He kisses back slowly. He's never kissed anyone before. He melts into it, grabbing Johnny's hand. They kiss for a few seconds that feel like hours. Ponyboy didn't know how much he needed this until it happened. He needed Johnny. Dally was right.

Johnny backs away slightly. Johnny and Ponyboy's noses still touching. Johnny has never kissed someone before. Heck, he's never even really loved someone before. But that moment he just shared with Ponyboy felt like it sent a jolt of electricity through his body. His scarred hands gently hold Ponyboy's face, a contrast from Ponyboy's soft skin. These feelings are so strong. Johnny knows he'd probably be dead if it wasn't for Ponyboy. It's cold outside but Johnny feels so warm and happy. True happiness, like he hasn't felt for a long time.

Ponyboy smiles warmly. Maybe letting himself give in wasn't so bad. Seeing Johnny so happy, feeling his warm scarred touch, everything about this was beautiful. It was gold, even. Ponyboy sighed and hugged Johnny deeply; it really meant something. At this moment, the world didn't exist. The Curtis house didn't exist, Johnny's parents didn't exist, Windrixville didn't exist. Just them, and maybe that was just fine.

"I love you Ponyboy." Johnny says with a huge grin on his face. Johnny doesn't think he's smiled this wide ever, even around Ponyboy. They stay embracing each other as the rain tumbles down their bodies. It all feels so warm despite both of them being soaking wet in the heavy rain. Johnny feels so happy right now. His heart is beating so fast as he experiences feelings he's never felt before in his tragic life. This feels like a fairy tale. Ponyboy takes a deep breath before he lets himself say it.

"I love you too, Johnny." He feels like a giant weight was taken off of his shoulders. He knew in the back of his mind that this would be a problem later, but for now it was fine. Just the two of them. "It's gonna get cold, and I ain't letting you sleep out in this rain." He says.

"Jesus Christ you two! I've been looking all over!" Johnny and Ponyboy both hear a voice say. Johnny quickly takes a step back from Ponyboy. They turn around and see Darry walking towards them. Johnny hopes Darry didn't see much of what they were doing because if he did they were dead. "I should've known you two were here." Ponyboy jumps and glances at Johnny.

"Oh, uh, I'm sorry Darry. We just wanted to hang out!" That's a horrible lie, he thinks.

"Hang out?! In the lot while it is pouring down rain?! You could've caught a cold kiddo. You could've hung out anywhere and you chose here. I-I just don't get you sometimes. Dallas said you two just ran off and I got worried Ponyboy." Darry says. He's standing right next to them now.

"Well, you don't have to get me." Ponyboy states, looking away from Darry. They've brought down on the fighting, but they still bicker and don't have the best relationship.

"Come on. I'm taking you two home." Darry takes off his jacket and puts it around Ponyboy and Johnny as they awkwardly walk home in silence together. Ponyboy and Johnny hold hands as they walk behind Darry back to the house.

Ponyboy is hesitant to hold Johnny's hand. What if Darry sees? He knows that they hold hands and are close together a lot, but what if Darry could sense it? The two of them are just now starting to become closer and starting to understand each other. Ponyboy sees how stressed Darry is all the time, and tries to make it better by taking on more responsibility, and Darry tries to understand Ponyboy's feelings about the "small stuff" as Darry calls it. (It's not small to Pony, but he appreciates the effort.)

Johnny and Ponyboy arrive back at the Curtis house. They quickly take off their shoes and they head down the hall to Ponyboy's room. They change out of their wet clothes and decide to warm up from the cold together by snuggling in Ponyboy's bed underneath a bunch of warm blankets. They embrace each other, wrapping their arms around each other hoping no one walks in. Johnny feels so happy in this moment. He lies his head on Ponyboy's chest and just listens to his heartbeat. They relax together not thinking about the future, the gang finding out about them, and just focusing on now. Them holding each other in their arms.