Just The Two of Us (Johnnyboy)

Chapter 11

"That sure was close, huh Johnny?" Ponyboy asks, taking a sigh of relief once Soda shut the door.

"Yeah. It sure was Pony." Johnny says. There's a tremendous look of fear in his big brown eyes. He's breathing heavily, extremely rattled by that experience.

"It'll be alright." Ponyboy says, although he sounds unsure. His viridescent eyes glance over to his boyfriend, as if for confirmation. But Johnny looks just as scared as he feels. Johnny sighs, like he doesn't entirely believe Ponyboy's. But his voice is enough to get Johnny slightly calmer.

"Yeah..." Johnny leans his head against Ponyboy's shoulder and shifts around to get comfortable. Ponyboy feels Johnny's hard greased hair against his shoulder as he struggles to get snug next to Ponyboy.

"Do you think we'll ever tell someone? Anyone?" Ponyboy asked to no one in particular. Maybe he's asking himself, maybe he's asking whatever being is up in the sky. Whoever they were, Ponyboy wasn't too happy with em. I mean, how could they let all this shit happen?

"I don't know Ponyboy. Maybe someday." Johnny says wistfully while looking up at Ponyboy before slumping back down onto his shoulder. Johnny loves Ponyboy more than anything else in his crummy life. He wishes he didn't have to hide their relationship and be in constant fear of being found out or caught.

"I think it'll happen. One day. I mean, it's not like this is..." Ponyboy took a deep breath before plunging in. "Really wrong? Is it? I know we've talked about it before; I just really don't know if it's wrong. I don't know, Johnnycakes!"

"I don't know Pony, I don't know. It feels wrong but it shouldn't be. Or maybe it should. This is just all so confusing. All I know is that I love you." Johnny says while putting his arm around Ponyboy and nuzzling into him. Ponyboy's throat begins to feel tight as he bites his lip.

"I... I love you too." Is all he says before quickly wiping away a stray tear. He's gotta quit all his crying.

"Man don't cry, it's gonna be okay." Johnny wraps his arm tighter around Ponyboy to comfort his loving boyfriend as cries. Johnny wishes they could just love each other and express it like the gang expresses love for all the broads they bring over. I'm sorry... Ponyboy thinks, but it comes out as a sniffle. His face is tucked into Johnny's shoulder, Catch-22 being forgotten for the moment.

"It's alright man." Johnny softly whispered while he affectionately pats Ponyboy's back, knowing that usually helps comfort him.

"Nothing's alright! Nothing's ever alright..." Ponyboy tries to make coherent thoughts, but they come out in jumbled up fragments. He's so full of bottled-up emotions. With so many things running through his head constantly without being able to get them out, it's hard to piece them all together. Especially when he's so emotional.

"I know Pony... I know." Johnny sniffles. Tears start to form in his big brown eyes. He quickly wipes them away trying to keep them from coming out, but it's a losing battle. Johnny always tries not to cry, to be tuff and all that. But sometimes he just cannot help it.

"Aw shoot, Johnny, I didn't mean to make you start crying." Ponyboy's breathing wavered. "One crybaby is enough."

"It's okay Pony, I'm fine." Johnny sympathized while wiping his tears. Ponyboy's remark made Johnny crack a small smirk and stifle a soft laugh. Ponyboy smiles at Johnny's laugh. His voice was muffled from talking down towards Johnny's lap and partially covered by his shoulder.

"I want you to always be okay. Forever. But I know that can't happen. Not as long as we're queer." Johnny sighs a long deep sigh. He looks down at Ponyboy.

"You're right. I wish we could just be normal sometimes. It's hard having to hide all this. It's scary sometimes, man. I wish we could just be like the rest of the gang and like girls like them. Sometimes I wonder what that would be like." Johnny says.

"I wish that too. I always do. I wished on a star last night for that, you know. But I guess it didn't work." Ponyboy cries.

"As much as I love you... I just wish I liked girls so we wouldn't have to go through all of this. All the things that might happen to us just because we love each other. I-I don't wanna think about it. I can't Pony...." Johnny whimpers, stuttering over his words. Tears fall down his face as Johnny tries to wipe them away quickly. Dally would probably call him names for crying right now.

"They'll beat us up! We'll go to Hell! They might put me in a boys home for real this time!" Ponyboy is carried away now. He's sobbing all over Johnny, and hw would be surprised that no one has heard yet if he could think straight. Johnny gives up on wiping his tears and he lets them freely fall down his face as he sobs. He plants his face into Ponyboy's shoulder.

"I know what might happen and I'm terrified of it." Johnny sobs. He knows what it's like to get beaten and to be treated horribly. He usually never had to worry about those things with Ponyboy.

"Me too. It scares me, something awful." Ponyboy collapses into the pillows, still crying, taking Johnny with him. He needed Johnny in his life, even if it meant they were fated for a merciless life. Ponyboy and Johnny wrap their arms around each other as they cry together softly. They aren't afraid to let it out around each other. They aren't the tuffest greasers out there. They're just scared. They know they can't keep this secret forever. Neither Ponyboy nor Johnny want to think of what might happen.

Ponyboy's cries slowly soften to a small whimper, but Johnny is still low-key sobbing. Pony holds onto Johnny tighter, so that he knows he's there. They'll always be there for each other, no matter what. Even if they hit rough patches sometimes. It's just their luck, right? They fall asleep like that, packed together and with the light on.