I Was A Teenage Abomination

80 2 0
                                    

Bijou, Hazel, Luz, Eda, and King were at the beach.

"Well, guys," Eda began. "Did you ever think you'd see something as breathtaking as this?" she nudged them both as they stared at...a giant slug laying in garbage, with boils on its back and appearing to be dead.

"I... don't like this," Luz struggled not to vomit. Bijou shivered in disgust.

"You know, when I said I needed to know more of the Boiling Isles, I didn't expect to have some grossness to go along with it." She grumbled as she asked Eda, "What is that giant creature anyway?"

"It's a trash slug. And a really smelly one, too." Hazel replied as he covered his nose.

"Yes, it doesn't get much more inspiring than the trash slug," Eda said, bending down to the slug.

"It makes a home, a life from what others have thrown by the wayside," she continued as she held up a rubber chicken and tossed it.

"Until, blam," Eda finished, "it gets blasted by a wave one day and croaks from all the salt, and then we get to sell the stuff it ate."

The two girls and the almiraj recoiled as Eda held three pickaxes, one of them being small enough for Hazel.

"Uhh..." Bijou trailed off.

"Please don't make me." Luz complained.

"Count me out on this one," Hazel added.

"Aw, come on, you two," King said as he walked away, laying out a sheet for him to sit on. "It's not every day you get to go to the dump and pick apart a garbage carcass."

"Eh, nuts to you all," Eda said as she swung her pickaxe, and the two human girls flinched.

"Look, Eda. I know that you are skilled and powerful but isn't there supposed to be something else for us to do besides collecting discarded stuff from a dead slug?" asked Bijou.

"Like what?" Eda asked as she continued to hit the giant dead mollusk in order to get more trash to sell.

"Read ancient scrolls, or make potions, or delve into the history of magical items, or..." Luz said.

"Ugh!" Eda exclaimed as she pulled out an old telephone receiver. "That sounds like a bunch of magic school stuff."

"Wait," Luz said, blinking as she heard two certain words.

"Is there a magic school here? Like, winding towers, cute uniforms, dark-plots-that-threaten-your-life kind of magic school?" she asked, her hands clasped together eagerly. Bijou appeared to be intrigued after learning about the school in general.

"Mm-hm. Worse, they force you to learn magic the 'proper' way."

"I take it you don't approve?" Bijou asked, her brow raised and arms crossed.

"I don't. You see, magic isn't proper!" Eda explained. "It's wild and unpredictable, and that's what makes it so beautiful. I didn't finish school, and look at me! Who wouldn't envy where I'm at right now?"

She was practically up to her waist in trash, which was neither a pleasing sight nor a good example.

"I don't think 'envy' is the right word there," Hazel pointed out as Luz averted her gaze.

"Uh...hey, here's a lesson," Eda said, taking Luz's hand in hers.

"A great witch is resourceful, like this," she said as she pushed Luz's hand into the slug's intestines while Bijou flinched in disgust. Eda coerced Luz into removing...a slime ball.

"Oh, hey. Greasy slime ball," Luz grumbled.

"Use your slime ball wisely, young witch," Eda said as she stood up and clasped her hand. "Back at it! We'll hit the stink nodes first."

✨ Bijou The Ascended (Part 1) ✨Where stories live. Discover now