Gus was hosting a Human Appreciation Society meeting at Hexside.
"Behold. The wonders of the human realm."
On the table, there was a cheese grater dubbed a nail clipper, a bag of onion chips clamped shut by a flip-phone dubbed a whoopie cushion, an umbrella hat filled with leaves and utensils dubbed a food bowl, a Rubik's cube dubbed a weapon (with a question mark), and a paper clip was dubbed a pay-per-clorp. Gus picked the last one.
"This little fellow is one of their most valued objects. It aids in the compiling of printed wisdom, the scratching of gunk from under your nails, and my favorite...it even mimics the sounds of the human ocean," He gave it a twang and sighed in bliss.
"Ahh, the human realm. So beautiful," he said, turning to face the chalkboard. "It's safe to say that the pay-per-clorp is a stunning testament to human ingenuity. Any questions?"
A boy raised his hand as several of them looked bored. "Ah, our newest member, Mattholomule."
"Augustus, is this what the president of the Human Appreciation Society thinks passes as 'Human Artifacts?'" he asked, gesticulating at everything on the table. Gus raised an eyebrow as the boy stood up and began walking around. "Because at my old school..."
He then knocked everything away, and Gus panicked and grabbed them. "We had real treasures."
He brought his own stuff from his backpack, but it was more fake. It consisted of a cellphone painted on a rock, an egg with a painted skull on it, and a shoe made out of leaves and mud.
"So real. I-I wanna touch them!"
"Go ahead," Mattholomule advised. "In my club, we didn't have any dumb rules."
He sharply gasped as he jerked a thumb at Gus' list of rules.
"Shh. He didn't mean that..." He stroked it, his gaze fixed on the boy. He then took the ones given to him by the members.
"Hey!"
"What?"
"Well, thankfully, this isn't your club," he said to Mattholomule, crossing his arms.
"Exactly. Who thinks I should be president?" Mattholomule smiled as he raised his hand.
"I do!"
"Mattholomule for prez!"
"I'm an undecided voter. I wanna touch all the objects first!"
Gus took the rock cellphone.
"These are fakes!"
Mattholomule flinched as the group exclaimed. "What?"
"Y-you can't prove that!" stammered the boy, adjusting his hair. "You're just trying to distract these human appreciators. You're afraid of getting kicked out of office. It's your word versus mine."
"Mm."
"I don't know what to believe in anymore."
"MY faith in Gus has been broken!" He took a nervous step back and then looked back to see bad pictures of his human friends in newspapers. His eyes widened in surprise.
"What if I brought in some experts?"
"Yeah, right. Who can you find who is a greater human expert than any of us?" Mattholomule questioned, surprised.
"How about some real humans?" he asked, capturing their attention.
"Why the secrets?"
"Show, don't tell, man!"
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✨ Bijou The Ascended (Part 1) ✨
Fanfiction16-year-old Bijou Adams, was unsure about her life after spending a few weeks at Gravesfield. But one day, she accidentally enters another realm known as the Boiling Isles, where she is seized and imprisoned by the Emperor's Coven. Bijou was able to...
