Save Me...SOLBY

•Part 19•

TW:Anxiety attacks,SH

Colby's POV

I woke up to Sam staring at the ceiling. "Sam...?" I asked he hummed. "Are you alright?" I asked he was just staring at the ceiling and he didn't look alright...

"Huh? Oh yeah I'm fine" I didn't believe him I felt so bad for yesterday but then again...Katrina grabbed him and he didn't do anything. He sat up and turned to me and I knew he hadn't slept you could tell from his eyes.

"I'm sorry f-for y-yesterday..." he said this is where I sighed. "It's fine but explain yourself." I demanded I saw him flinch slightly but just ignored it. "A-as I-I was walking s-she g-grabbed me and I-I couldn't do a-anything..." he stuttered.

I brought him into a hug and cuddled him for a few minutes "I forgive you don't worry..." I said playing with his hair. After everything I did and shouting at him I don't know why he don't hate me...he would never hate me what am I on about?

Sam's POV

I got out of Colby's arms and stood up. I smiled at him as I got out my clothes then went into the bathroom. After changing I looked in the mirror and sighed. I look like shit. Again.

After what Colby said yesterday I could sleep I was up and down throwing up all night and just crying. I didn't know what to say or do not that this is his fault of course it's mine I should've told her to let go or push her off.

After I put some concealer on I left and Colby just smiled at me. I blushed a little it's not normal for me to be smiled at I usally get looked at disgustingly or just get stared at.

Colby put one hand on my face and he leaned in then moved away "Ha got you" he said laughing getting ready in the bathroom. I don't know why but it made me feel upset...maybe I'm just being sensitive.

But what if he don't love me? What if he's trapped me in his little game? Is he going to turn out like Katrina? What is going on...?

I shook the thought away before Colby thought something was up. Just then he stepped out the bathroom and hugged me "I didn't mean that I love you" he said kissing my cheek.

"What class do you have first my love?" He asked making me smile slightly "English" I replied walking over to him. "Okay so I'll pick you up after yeah?" He asked pulling me closer to him I just nodded.

"Well let's go or we'll be late!" He said grabbing my hand and opening the car door. "I could've done that" I said crossing my arms he just rolled his eyes and placed his hand on the inside of my thigh.

It made me shiver because it reminded me of Katrina but I didn't want to say anything just incase he would get offended. As he drove us to school my anxiety grew worse and worse.

There was so many people. I don't think I'll make it through today...I took a deep breathe and got out of the car. Colby walked beside me and I really wanted to hold his hand to calm me down so I tried "Sam no." He demanded.

I moved my hand away and my whole body started shaking,I started scratching myself and picking the skin off of my fingers until I made it bleed. We arrived near the group and the halls were getting much more packed.

This made me so much more anxious and I kept trying to go close to Colby but he kept moving away. "Sam...? Are you okay...?" Devyn asked me I couldn't say anything,Devyn moved closer to me and read me like a magazine. "Colby sort out your best friend he's shaking" Devyn said Colby just looked at me and rolled his eyes.

"He's most likely just cold" Colby said turning to talk to Jake. I ran to the bathroom and locked the stall. It's to hot,there's to many people,to many voices. I started gasping for air and just couldn't breathe it made me more upset that Colby didn't care.

"Sam..." I heard Elton say I just put my hand over my mouth to muffle my cries. "Sam I know your in here...I'm not mad you seemed really anxious" he said. I stopped crying and walked out of the stall washing my face. Elton just pulled me into a hug.

I pulled away from the hug then felt really bad "I-I'm sorry...I'm sorry I-I didn't mean it!" I started panicking. Elton just hugged me again "Listen it's okay Sam breathe...your gonna be okay" he said I calmed down a little.

He then left the bathroom and I left school. I couldn't spend a day here with Colby being like this it was to much. I ran to my house not caring that I left all my things there.

I ran up to my room and started pacing around with sweat running down my face. I need to feel. With that I ran into the bathroom and grabbed the blade,staring at it made me smile but actually placing it on my skin made all my problems go away.

By the time I was dont there was 13 cuts on each arm. I didn't gasp I just laughed slightly then pulled my sleeves back down. I walked into my bedroom and I started to get dizzy everything was blurry.

I steadied myself against the wall and things just got worse. At this point sweat was running down my face it was to hot and I was on the floor. That was it. I was out cold.

Colby's POV

I didn't see Sam for the whole day. Maybe I was a little rude but why does he always want to hold my hand? There's no reason to he's just being dramatic.

At lunch I walked to the table and everyone was laughing and talking "Have any of you seen Sam?" I asked. There was silence. "Dude he left" Elton said I put on a questioning face "Colby your clueless aren't you?" Devyn asked laughing slightly at the end.

"He wanted to hold your hand and be close to you because his whole body was shaking he couldn't breathe there was to many people to many noises and you just left him. After that he went home because he couldn't Handel it" Devyn explained.

"Oh..." I said was it actually that bad...? "He had a full on breakdown in the bathroom he covered his mouth muffling the cries because he thought it was you. I gave him a hug and he bursted into tears again" Elton said.

"Alright I'm gonna leave now I'm going to him I need to check up on him" I told everyone they all agreed.

With that I grabbed my things and dashed out the door and ran to Sam's house. I hated walking alone his road was so sketchy. I opened his door closing it behind me. "Sam!" I called hoping for an answer.

There was silence. I slowly walked up to his room and I gasped at what I saw. I've never heard silence quite this loud. The room was so quiet you could hear your own heartbeat.

I picked Sam up and laid him on the bed. I felt so stupid for not noticing...

After a few hours I heard him moving this gave all my attention go to him as he sat up. "Sam are you okay?!" I asked panicked,he nodded "what are you doing here...?" He asked.

"I came to see you...I'm sorry about earlier I didn't know how high your anxiety was and I didn't want to hold hands because I didn't want people to suspect us..." I admitted. Sam just looked at his hands.

"Yeah...I-I'm sorry to..." he said I just smiled.