Court of Darkness

14. A sad melody - Alexander

Alexander had never felt so much guilt in his life. Not even when he had found out that he had sent a pregnant Nicki into the battlefield. Nicki... his sweet, precious Nicki. She had protected him with her life that night. He was alive because of her but she had made the biggest sacrifice she could've made.

The sword had gone through her body and all he could do at that moment was watch how the love of his life collapsed in on top of him. He had instantly wrapped his arms around her to give her some kind of protection even though it had already been too late. The guards who had been on duty had already stormed into the room and gotten a hold of the perpetrator. It had been the guard who had been protecting his bedroom that night. When the guards had changed rounds he had gotten the task to protect Alexander's room. It turned out that the guard had gone rogue and worked with the rebels even though he was a vampire himself. He had most likely been the traitor that Nicki had mentioned all those months ago. Alexander knew that he had been a fool to not have looked into it himself.

Alexander was a wreck ever since it had happened. He had immediately given Nicki his blood and hoped that she would get through the day. It had worked but he had already known that the unborn child hadn't stood a chance. He mourned for their child but he was also fearing for Nicki's life. It had been three days since the attack but she still hadn't woken up. It worried him. He hadn't left her side except for when he had to wash the blood off him and get changed into clothes that hadn't been stained with blood. He had dropped everything and waited until Nicki would wake up. Stubbles had appeared on his jawline and his hair hadn't been brushed in days. He held her hand to comfort himself a little and caressed her cheek.

"I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect you. This is all my fault. I should've listened to you. I was a fool but you're the one who paid the price for it." The king cried but the healer pretended he didn't notice it. Alexander may be the most powerful man of the kingdom but right now he felt like the weakest. He stopped when he heard a soft groan and looked up. Nicki's eyes were slowly opening.

"Alex?" A wave of relief washed over him. She was finally awake.

"Nicki!" He said, his voice full of relief. He hugged her carefully and started to cry even more.

"You're finally awake! I was so worried about you." Then she asked him the inevitable question. He let go of her and looked worried at her.

"What has happened? Our baby..." He saw how her hand touched her belly, which had already turned back to its original state. Vampires healed fast. Sometimes too fast. He saw how the realisation kicked in. The tears rolled down her cheeks. Nicki hugged him tightly and they cried together.

•

It had been a month since Nicki had been discharged from the infirmary but Alexander knew that she hadn't been recovered from her wounds. Her body was healed but her heart was broken. She was still living in his suite but barely talked to him. She barely talked at all. Not even to her maid. Reeva still made sure that Nicki looked presentable and fed but had mentioned to him that there wasn't much she could do for her.

It pained Alexander to see Nicki like this. She was a ghost of her former self. She was mourning their child. Alexander was mourning both Nicki and their unborn child. He had tightened security and had done a background check on everyone in the castle to rule out any link to the rebels but the damage was already done. He still slept together with Nicki but sometimes she rejected him and other mornings he heard her cry when she thought that he was asleep. The first two weeks he hadn't left her side but work was stacking up. Nicki needed him but so did the kingdom. He mostly worked in his room to keep an eye on her but sometimes he had to leave her alone, even if it pained him. Reeva kept an eye on her but it just wasn't the same.

One day Alexander had returned from a meeting and was surprised by what he found. Nicki was sitting behind the piano that was in the living room. She was playing on it. She hadn't touched a piano after he had transformed her into a vampire. That ability had gone lost together with her memories. Alexander had taught human Nicki to play the piano.

He quietly closed the door behind him and leaned against the wall. This was the first time since the attack that he had seen her do something different than staring and crying. The melody she was playing was sad but it meant that she was channeling her emotions for the first time in weeks. It was breathtaking. Eventually she stopped with playing. She looked up from the piano and made eye contact with him.

"Alex..." She said softly, like she couldn't believe it that he was here. Alexander stared at her for a moment. She was speaking to him. For the first time since the attack... she was talking.

"Nicki..." He said to her as he came closer. Nicki stood up and Alexander wrapped his arms around her. He pressed her against his body. His everything.

"Our child..." She said. Her voice broke and she started to cry. She hid her face in his chest.

"I know, my love. I know. I mourn too..." They stayed silent and kept hugging as they cried together. Alexander didn't know how long it lasted but at some point Nicki's legs had refused to carry her. He had picked her up and putten her in bed. He had been lying next to her and caressed her cheek until she had fallen asleep.

The next evening came. Alexander woke up in an empty bed. He was confused at first because it had been the first time in months that he was alone but then he heard the piano in the living room. He got out of bed and changed into his sweatpants. He had slept in the clothes he had worn yesterday, which were stained by Nicki's tears. He walked barefoot into the living room and sat down on the chair that was the nearest to the piano. Nicki stopped playing when she noticed him, just like she'd done yesterday. Her long hair was in a messy braid. Reeva probably hadn't gotten the chance to redo it. Nicki was wearing one of his shirts, which was way too big for her. Her right shoulder was visible. She was wearing sweatpants just like him, although these were her size, unlike the t-shirt she was wearing. At least she had changed her clothes on her own. That was progress.

"Evening. Please continue playing. I was enjoying it." He said and gestured for her to continue. Nicki simply nodded and started playing again. After 20 minutes she stopped and looked at him again.

"I'm sorry..." she said softly.

"For what?" Alexander asked her. "For saving my life? I would've been dead if it hadn't been for you Nicki." He said softly. There was silence between them again.

"For... you know..." She said softly. Her voice broke again and she bit on her lip to hold back the tears.

"For making the biggest sacrifice you could've made." Alexander finished the sentence for her. Nicki broke down in tears. She covered her face with her hands. Alex immediately went to her and sat down next to her. He wrapped his arms around her again and place a kiss her head.

"It's alright, Nicki. I won't leave you. I'll never leave you. Our child may be gone but I don't hate you for it. I could never hate you." Nicki started to cry louder and Alexander's heart shattered, just like it had shattered on the night of the attack.

"I love you, no matter how broken you are. No matter how much time you need to heal. I love you, Nicole Lalesse. I've loved you since the day I started to get to know you. Nothing will change that." She stopped with crying and looked up at him. She resembled a child. The look on her face was so pure and vulnerable.

"You mean it?" She asked him, afraid for rejection.

"I mean it. I will never lie to you about my feelings for you." She nodded.

"I know... You weren't afraid to share your feelings for me when I was still a human." Time stopped for Alexander. When she was still a human. Her memory. Her human memory. It was returning at the worst moment possible. He had to tell her. It would ruin everything between them but he had to tell her before she would remember it herself. It was better to be hated for the truth than to be hated for the secret he had kept for over four centuries.

"Nicki, I have to tell you something and you won't like it."