words: 1408 Warning: SA trauma Parent: Apollo Y/n pov:
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Me and piper had been together for a little over a year, and I wouldn't change a thing. She's beautiful, and compassionate, and the best person I've ever met. She's not scary but she could protect me, and I love that about her.
I know that the one year mark is usually when couples become more intimate with each other, and I know piper wants to do it. We have talked about it before, but I don't know if I want to after the kind of things my old pastor did to me. I won't go into detail but it wasn't pretty, and I was to young to have a big voice.
I want to move our relationship forward, but I don't know how to do it without being afraid. But this is pipes I could tell her anything I want. Then again, I don't know if I can. So who else do I go to but the one person that has been in so many relationships, and can handle trauma okayly. I know one guy. My dad.
I walk to the beach right before dinner, the sun is about to set and the waves are crashing on the shore. I take my necklace out from under my shirt and shine it on the sun. It's a little gold sun with a mirror in the center, I have it on the same sting as my beads. Humming the tune to his favorite song of the week, dancing queen by abba. I see the sun start moving down the horizon until it breaks the pattern and starts moving down the water twords the beach. Soon the image turns into a car and reaches the beach, a red Ferrari with the license plate number '7sun7' on the front. A man steps out, a tall teenage boy, with sandy blonde hair and a crisp tan.
" hey sport what's up!" My dad says walking over to me and giving me a hug, " hi dad" I say as he releases me. " we need to talk" as soon as I say that he freezes " What did you do?" He mumbles as I look in his eyes " please tell me you're not going down the path of musical theater, you're half brother Lin did that and now he's discrased my name, I can't have atriums on me for another thing"
I chuckle at his words and sit on the sand, he follows suit " what's this about y/n, you can tell me anything I won't judge" he says. I know he's right, I just need to spit it out "We've been together for a year now, me and piper, and I know she wants to- t- to do IT with me, but I don't know how I would react because of... you know, the pastor thing. And I'm scared I would break down or scare her, and I really love her and I'm scared if I don't do it she might want to leave me" I say in a bit of a word vomit kinda way.
He sighes and puts his face in his hands before he looks at me with a dead Sirius face "let me ask you, do you want to do it with her"
"Dad-"
"No y/n/n it's a real question, do you want to do it with her, or do you feel pressured to do it with her"
"I-I don't know" I admit. She never made me feel pressured to do it, but I felt presser nevertheless
"Well than start there, and then talk to her about it, you don't have to rush and do it just because you're partner wants to, or because the people around you are" he say's standing up and pulling me up too
"But what ever you diside I'm so proud of you for wanting to talk about this with me Kiddo, I'm proud of you" he says finally before getting in his car and driving off into the sunset.
I walk back to cabin seven just to see my brother Will in there, re stocking a first aid kit. " hey where were you at dinner" he said as I slump down onto my bed that's opposite him. I start humming a loose tune playing in my head. "I was on the beach" I say as I walk to the back of the cabin where there's a piano, a drum kit, a lyer, a guitar and several more instruments, along with note pads with half written songs. I pick up a note pad from the floor and walk to the piano, pulling out the bench and sit down, playing the little tune I have on repeat in my head
"Do do dododododo dododododo do do do"
Pipers pov:
I walk down to y/ns cabin. I know something has been bothering her recently, and I've wanted her to tell me. I hate it when she closes off from me. It makes me feel like I can't be trusted, but that's not the truth. Y/n trusts me with her life. Completely. And I'm aware this is just a trauma response but that doesn't make it hurt less. I walk right up to cabin 7 and hear the voice of my beautiful girlfriend. I almost walk in until I here the words
Play song now
The notes are slow and melancholy
I'm more than I'm more than I'm more than "Body, let me see your body Take off all your makeup and your clothes Trust me, why don't you just trust me? You're the only beauty, show me more You're not a dime a dozen Oh, your skin is golden Let me show the whole damn world You're one in a billion The only thing you're missin' Is some tape over that mouth"
I turn my back to the door and start slowing sliding down at her words.
Body, I'm more than my body You can pack your things up, buh bye, just go Body, I'm more than my body Don't owe you a thing, no, not at all I'm not a toy to play with Not just a sight to see and My mind is worth its weight in gold I'm not a dime a dozen I know I'm worth this, more than You will ever know
I feel warm tears slide down my cheeks as a put a hand to my mouth to keep sound from coming out
Touch me, you just want to feel me You just want to share me You don't care at all Trust you, why don't I just trust you? You just want to use me Now I know Body, I'm more than my body You will never get me, buh bye, just go
I know she had a past of SA, but I never thought that our talks might lead to her feeling like this
I'm more than I'm more than I'm more than My body I'm more than I'm more than I'm more than My body
I don't know if this is how she truly feels or not, but I feel like shit anyways. I know we need to talk. Gods how could I be so stupid to not see this.
I'm more than I'm more than I'm more than My body I'm more than I'm more than I'm more than My body I'm more than I'm more than I'm more than
I stand up. Tears still fall down my face as I open the door to see Will holding y/n from behind as she rests her hands on the side of the piano. " you should tell her" I hear him say before I walk through the threshold. Will let's go to see me and I make my way over to the piano to sit beside my y/n "song bird?" I say to her and she looks at me. Her face red and glossy eyed
" I'm sorry" she whispers before I put my hand on hers, curessing her long fingers, with all the rings, and fun colored band aids from over working her calluses " can we talk?" I say before she leans over and kisses me
It was soft, but it said everything I needed to know. Right now she just wants to be held, and kept close, and that's what I'll do. We will talk later, but right now is not the time.
