My journey to healing

85.

Darling

Please come by and we can talk about it.
I just wanted to protect you from pain.
We should have told you I'm sorry, we're sorry.
Please let me hear from you.

Second message

Where are you I'm at your door now!
Come on Kait we need to talk.
We have been best friends Kait for so long.

Third message

You know what, if you want it this way you can get it.
After all, it always has to be about you.
What kind of addition are you in our group of friends?
You always have drama, there is always something, and you always find yourself pathetic.
News flash for you, you are not the only one with problems.
We've all risked our friendships, and relationships for you.
You are really selfish, and when it gets difficult you run.
I'm starting to understand why you didn't have friends in the past.
We've tolerated your shit long enough.

I knew right away that this was Julia, and how people really think about me.
Maybe they were right I thought sad.
Was I really that bad?
I always try to think of others, would I unconsciously put myself in the foreground?
I know that I always walk away from my problems, but that is also partly because I don't want to bother anyone with it.
I threw the phone down next to me with a deep sigh.
I was actually too tired that I had fallen asleep so much with clothes on.
Woke up somewhere in the night, because the next day I was complicated in the blanket, in my underwear.
I quickly got in the shower, getting ready for the day.
I walked into the restaurant, and walked to the buffet.
The food here is so different from America, I grabbed a croissant, cheese, egg, bowl of breakfast, and coffee.
In the meantime, I started my work.
It's great that you can just do that anywhere I thought when I took a sip of my coffee.
Maybe I can live here for a while I thought suddenly excited.
Immediately I went to see what the possibilities are, and if I can get a visa.
I started volunteering with people with mental health problems.
I can put myself in those people very well, and know what they need, because I was there myself, and maybe still am.
Today I decided to go out with my camera, and ended up in a village with all mills.
I think it's called Zaanse schans.
I really liked the architecture, and those homes are incredibly cute.
It was really a difference from Amsterdam.
The houses, windmills were colorful, and very touristy.
There were many tourists here from different parts of the world in a small part of the Netherlands.
I ate Dutch cheese for the first time, and wow that's delicious.
I took different types of cheese to the hotel, and put them in my mini bar.
We were already a few weeks later that I received an email from the Dutch government for an appointment, and now three months later I can officially call myself a Dutch citizen.
Today I can get my key from a house on the Amsterdam canals that I bought.
I filmed my journey, and recorded on photos, and video, that I decided to blog, and post on social media.
I had taken my so-called friends off the block, and let them enjoy my life.
Yes, I often miss them especially Julia, and Emma, and yes even Aurora.
My blog quickly ran well, and got a lot of nice comments.
As beautiful as the Netherlands is, the weather here is really shitty.
How many days a year does it rain here for God's sake?