Skz OneShots ✰

"Mask" | Felix

Angst

Triggers:
Fire
Burn scars (?)
PTSD? I think?)
Suicide
Slitting

(Short)

"Why do you always wear a mask?"

They asked. Though they would never understand, would they?

They would never understand the tears that were scarred into him, the screams and yells that he heard in his dreams, that repeated and repeated, like a broken cd player.

They wouldn't. And Felix didn't want them to understand either.

He knew others had it worst, he knew he was lucky enough to be alive; he knew he was being selfish for not appreciating that he had a second chance, instead isolating himself as much as he could, hiding all his fears behind a stupid mask.

His thoughts often drifted to that night..
the smoke detector beeping..
Screams down the halls..
lights flickering..
Kids crying..
Flames surrounding his bed..
And he ran through the flames..
coughing because of the smoke..
Glass cutting scars into his body..
And his vision closing.

It was a miracle that he was alive. But sometimes, he would've wanted to be engulfed by those flames which were once surrounding his bed.

He jumped on his bed, gasping for air as tears slipped past his eyes, bringing his legs up to his chest and sobbing.

Eventually, he forced himself to bring his legs off the bed, inhaling oxygen which, wasn't fully filled with toxicity; reminding himself that it had simply been just another nightmare.

He went to his bathroom, his bottom lip tugging out and trembling, as he opened the bottom cabinet for his teeth brush, wanting to take his morning breath away.

He tried his best not to look into the mirror infront of him, instead trying his best to ignore it and looking to the side, tears already pricking his eyes. Again..

But of course.. his toothbrush slipped from his trembling hands, he went to pick it up from the wooden floor, and as he stood back up, got caught in his own reflection.

The red, healing color on his lower face, skin, peeled off, a few orange and yellow spots..

"Disgusting."

He threw his toothbrush at the wall, punching the mirror in front of him repeatedly, making slowly break apart, pieces of glass jumping everywhere.

His knuckles were red with blood, but he didn't care. He punched until he couldn't anymore, and looked down in shame, covering his face with his hands, as he sobbed, his heart clenching with hurt.

Pieces of the glass were on the floor, and as he looked around, he saw only his face.

He screamed, and filled with rage, he picked up one of the pieces of glass, before putting it down and running to his room and reaching for his phone.

He called Chan.
"Hey Lix! How are you?"

Felix held back a sob, as he walked slowly to the bathroom once again.

"Im okay."

"I'm glad you are, how about we go get some ice cream later on to clear both of our minds, yeah?"

"no.."
He sniffled, staring at his 'terrifying' reflection on the broken glass which he had put down just before.

"Okay.. how about I go to your house and we can watch movies.. we can see a romcom, I'll survive watching them just for you, as long as you let me sleep on your shoulder."

Chan giggled from the other side of the line.

"..sure"

He heard some ruffling and some keys jingling.

"I'll be right there okay? Bye bye lix, I'll see you in a bit."

Silence.

"Lix?"

"What? Huh?"

"I said that I'd be right there, just gonna a few minutes okay?"

"Okay.."

"Bye bye!"

Silence. Chan had the rule that Felix would always hang up first. But he wasn't even saying bye like he usually would.

"Are you okay Felix?"

"I-I don't wanna say goodbye.."

"Why not love? Talk to me, yeah? I'm here for you."

"Cause this one would mean forever."

Chan inhaled a sharp breath.

"Love stay on the line I'm almost at your entra-"

Felix hung up as he picked up the glass, and dragged us quickly and repeatedly across his wrist, red liquid gushing out of it as he started feeling lightheaded.

"I'm sorry."
He sobbed to no one In particular, as he screamed, before with any force he had left, slid the glass across his neck; his last vision being Chan running inside the bathroom, whispering sweet nothings, as he reassured Felix.. or himself, that everything would be okay.

Though after his vision turned dark..

He never saw light again.

A/N: hiiii
Sorry y'all... there's a few little details that I hope you could catch in this, I'll be talking more about this one shot on the community board<3

I hope this wasn't too much of a bad read, my writing isn't the best but I swear I try 😭😭

I love you, drink water and eat your 3 meals, make sure to get the rest you need<3

-Lesal.