My Choice (Third in the "Baby Brother Series)

Sixteen

Swollen eyes peered open, blurred vision barely focusing on the teary face before him. Tom could hear sniffling but didn't recognize who it was crying. He blinked a few times before being shocked by a flat hand suddenly coming across his face.

"Are you fucking serious?!" Miley cried. "They had to pump your stomach, you've been unconscious for six hours, and—."

"Miley? What's going on? What happened?"

"What happened?! You took all 50 pills that was in Bill's antidepressant bottle is what happened! What were you thinking?!"

"I—."

"And then you call me on the phone to what?! Give me a fucking heart attack?!"

"Mi—."

"I don't want to hear it! Bill is distraught because he thinks it's his fault. That caused a seizure and now they are panicked about how your mental health is affecting your brother! Tom, what is going on? I need you to talk to me or someone, FUCK!"

"Miley, I didn't intend on doing that, it just happened."

"It just happened! It just happened?! Tom, why would try to kill yourself?! Answer me!"

"Because I thought Bill, you and the baby would be better off without me."

"Why would you think that?! Because I worry so much about you that I fight with you?! I want you to get better. I want you to feel the love that is surrounding you so you can be there for your little brother. How is Bill to feel when his own brother would rather be in his grave over being with him?"

"I know. I fucked up."

"You lectured Bill about the same thing and you turn around and do what—."

"I know, damn it! I fucking know!"

Miley is silent, not wanting to upset him any further. Andy had gone home earlier, leaving Bill alone in his private room to sleep and worry about his older brother. He only remembered downing the few bottles of vodka Georg had in his home, being found severely intoxicated by the surgeon's young daughter. She went to find her father, who immediately kicked him out of the home to prevent his child from being scarred by Tom's drunkenness.

"I'm going to tell your brother you're awake," Miley frowned.

"Wait. Don't leave. Please. I don't want to be alone."

"Are you going to talk about what's going on? Because I don't have patience for people that don't wanna help themselves."

"I'm sorry."

Miley had to hold back her tears, instantly reminded of her mother. She didn't tell Tom she was the one who found her the night she decided to end her own life. The images of her mother hanging from the ceiling of their family cabin still haunt her to this day. Maybe that's why she felt the need to be so angry. She couldn't be angry at her mother, never got the chance to.

The flashes kept flickering in her eyes, a silent storm she didn't want to pass on to their child. For once perhaps she understood the way Tom felt sometimes about his brother. It wasn't jealousy but anger at him for ruining it. It was immature and disgusting. Here Tom is crying out for help and she wanted to...banish him for it. A calmness ran over her and she slowly lowered herself to the ground.

"I thought you died Tommy. They said you crashed your car and they found two empty bottles of tequila and an empty bottle of Billy's medicine and then you stopped breathing...I—I thought I was gonna be alone."

"Mi—I—I wasn't thinking, I felt horrible for running away and I thought Billy wouldn't want to ever see me again. I would rather be dead than go back to where we were in Germany. But that's what it's turning into and I can't live through that again."