What's a girl to do

Chapter 3: Ezra Pov

I got to school really early today just too see her , I don't think she noticed but ever since I saw her I kinda liked her but I'm not going to think about that too much. I hurried off to my first class, trying to focus on my studies instead but all I thought about was if she wanted to see me again it's crazy because I haven't thought about any one like this in awhile and I was determined to ask for her number today so maybe we can talk today our encounter last time was awkward because she didn't say anything and I thought maybe it was me but she was probably nervous " but it was a test today so I really wished I studied as I'm sitting in class I'm zoning out thinking about her but she carries this journal every day with her " I wonder what she writes in there maybe I'll ask her after class what's a boy to do? Every time I see her, my mind becomes consumed with thoughts of her should I go ahead and make the first move, ask her about the journal, and find out what she writes, she has the most prettiest smile you'll ever see she has, brown hair , brown eyes and she wears these pearl earrings that I always see in the morning, she's so sweet I can tell by looking at her but I know that I can't have her

because she's a sweet girl , and breaking her heart would ruin me I had so many bad experiences in the past with relationships, and I don't want to hurt her like I've been hurt before , I know that if I ever got a chance to be with her , I would want to cherish her and make her feel like the most special person in the world and she deserves that and so much more , I gave my teacher my test and before I got up to leave she approached me saying " can we redo what happened last time ?". My heart raced as I heard her words, unsure of what she meant by "redo what happened last time, i responded with "yes that would make me very happy ," I replied with a smile. We made plans to meet after class and I could feel the excitement building within me

I felt so relieved when she came to me with a genuine smile on her face. It was clear that she was just as eager to spend time together as I was I didn't want to come off as desperate , so I tried to play it cool and maintain an air of confidence but really I was nervous inside I was *intained* with my emotions and that what girls hated about me and I never understood why, but with her it's different . With her, I felt more comfortable being vulnerable and expressing myself fully I didn't know her that long but I felt like I knew her all my life as every day passes by , I couldn't help but grow more attached to her. She seemed to hold a key to unlocking a happiness I had been searching for and I was not going to mess things up with her , so I decided to take a leap of faith and express my feelings to her

she was someone I felt like if I told her anything she wouldn't judge me or use it against me . But at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder if expressing my feelings would jeopardize our friendship , I second guessed myself for a moment " realizing if I send this message to her it could ruin everything I took a deep breath and reminded myself that bravery often reaps rewards so I sent I said " hey I really like you and I don't know if this would ruin our friendship so I'm unsure if I should say this but I love everything about you, you're brown eyes your brown hair your smile the nervous looks you give me and ,  I have liked you since I first saw you , so I reread that hoping she wouldn't block me after I sent it with confidence hoping this wouldn't ruin anything.
      
as I sat there waiting for her response, I grabbed my book that I had wrote in about her and everything she done or did I remembered every little detail down from the first time she gave me a pencil, suddenly I got a notification and it was from her my heart dropped " I was shaking I tried to read it but my finger wouldn't let me touch the phone at the moment, I grabbed the phone and I slowly clicked the message and the response was something I wasn't expecting