And then she's gone.

FUCK THIS SHIT

I lay on my bed, staring at the mauve ceiling. It had marks of glue on it, for when I had hung stars. Those were long gone now. I sighed and turned my face into the pillow. It smelt like fabric detergent.

I took a deep breath.

I'm bored...where are you?

Since when do you call me?

I don't know. I have nothing to do, anyway. Why not get criticised by you?

Haha, very funny.

I know, I'm so very funny, aren't I?

Sure.

I miss her so much....

I know. I dont think you will ever stop missing her.

I want to. I want to forget all about her.

You dont mean that..

Yes. yes, i do!

Let me tweak your memory, Wren. you won't ever forget her. Ever. you don't deserve to. What you deserve is far too gruesome to explain. You deserve what she went through. Got me?

Fuck you.

Let me help you remember..

NO. I DON'T NEED YOUR HEL-

My eyes snapped shut, and then all I could see was black.

We were curled up in each other in her bed. My eyes were closed, and I was breathing in her scent, while her arms were tightly wrapped around me. I had felt so happy, so content. She hummed.

'Wren. you know I'll always love you, no matter what happens.'

I lifted my head. 'Yeah, I know. Why?'

She stroked my hair. 'No reason. Just wanted you to know.'

I smiled and rubbed my head to her chest. 'I love you too.'

'Okay, kitten.' she laughed, and I purred. 

'This kitten wants to live with you forever.' her hands stopped playing with my head.

'You really mean that?' she asked softly.

I exclaimed with surprise; 'of course! Together forever, remember?'

She pulled me closer. 'I remember. But, Wren, what if I'm not there? What if I'm not there, next to you, for the rest of your life?'

Her body shook next to me.

'What if- what if I can't stay? Wren, I love you, but what if I'm not there by your side? What would you do?'

Tears fell into my hair and I turned around to face her.

I pushed away the tears on her face and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

 'What happened Elise? What's wrong?'

She sobbed; 'Nothing. Nevermind.'

I kissed her forehead. 'Elie. no matter what happens, I'm always going to be here for you. Me and you, we are not going anywhere. I won't let it. Okay?'

She sadly smiled. There was something in her eyes I just couldn't put a finger on. She stopped shaking and got up.

'Okay. I love you.'

I grinned. 'Love you too..'

She took my hand and got off the bed. Pulling me in for a kiss, she mumbled something I couldn't hear. I felt so happy, so at home. I pushed her back onto the bed, and the rest was history.

My eyes flew open. I got off the bed and started pacing around the room. my head hurt, my body hurt, and everything started hurting. I needed an outlet. everything was too close, too packed. too muddled. my brain stopped working. I picked up a glass and threw it against the wall. The crashing sound was so satisfying, i picked up another. And another. And another. I stared at the pieces of glass on the floor and shook. My heart pulled so hard, I felt like my chest could burst. I took a deep breath and screamed, And screamed, and screamed so hard my voice started to strain. I pulled my hair down, sobbing, and screaming, and FUCK I HATE MY LIFE.

I collapsed on the ground and pulled my knees to my chest. I started shaking, my teeth clacking against each other. I heard a noise beneath me, and then the door opened. I vaguely remember a hand on my shoulder. A voice, telling me it was going to be fine. I closed my eyes. 

It won't be fine. Ever.

'Wren... Wren, my baby. It's okay. It will be okay.' A voice sobbed next to me.

A tear slid down my cheek, and I kept my eyes closed for the rest of the night.