that august night - c.l.

50. Everything

"Where is he?" - Amelia almost yelled out after Elena had told her about the events that occurred past few days. "Please... let's not jump into conclusions. Of course I'll be mad if the child turns out to be his... but I can't sit and watch him break his promises every time he makes them. The second time he had me worried sick whole night. I can't take that pressure another time." - Elena complained, her head in her hands.

"I am sorry... you know I just want what's the best for you, but I can't help you here. I saw you happy with him, I did. But it's not like you can tolerate this as well." - Amelia added.

She flew out to Monaco day after they got back from Greece finding her best friend in not as happy state. And when they landed, Charles told her how he'll be staying with one of his friends to give her space and time until the results are done. She appreciated it but couldn't get herself to talk to him at all. Disappointment was killing her from the inside out.

"It's probably Charles." - Elena said after they heard a knock on her door. Amelia looked worried for her before she went on to open the doors for her. "Hey Amelia." - Charles greeted seeing his girlfriend's friend open the door.

Amelia didn't respond back as Elena sighed feeling the angriness she held towards Charles. Perhaps Amelia was angrier with Charles than Elena was. "Is Elena here?" - She heard him ask. "She's right here." - Amelia opened the door wider, his eyes meeting hers.

"Can I talk to you, alone?" - Charles asked, speaking directly to Elena who shared a look with Amelia. "I'll leave you to talk. I'll go buy us dinner." - She gave Charles warning look before she took her wallet, walking out of Elena's apartment, letting Charles step in, which he did.

Elena noticed papers in his hands, thinking of results. Something told her to believe him from the start, but believing in something that can be crushed down is greater danger than just standing on the side waiting for truth to unfold.

"I have the results." - He cleared his voice after few moments of silence, approaching her on the couch, sitting on safe distance. But enough for his body to desire hers even closer. He handed her the same papers which she took without glancing at him. Elena quickly passed through them, giving them back.

"Congratulations." - Was the first word she spoke to him in few days. Felt very odd to do so even though they could spend days and nights talking to each other. "What? What are you congratulating me on? I'm not-"

"I know. Congratulations on proving your innocence." - Elena interrupted him, making her words clear to him as he nodded. "Now what?" - She asked, hearing no response from him. "What do you want now? Let me tell you something right now, don't expect anything to be back to normal because it'll never be." - Elena started, feeling his eyes on hers.

"I know-"

"Then what?" - She yelled back, feeling frustration from the past few days building up in her. "What do you want from me?" - She repeated, waiting few seconds before she heard his response. "I want you to forgive me. I had you worried, I know it! But please, just don't walk away now when we are so close to perfect. God, we were perfect-"

"And who fucked it up? What will my forgiveness change?" - She turned her body towards him, feeling the anger build up in him as well. "Maybe it won't change anything at all, but I want to start from somewhere. Please, I know I messed up but I beg you, don't walk away from me now. Don't leave me when I have found you. The moment I think I have it all with you something goes wrong!"

"Charles, who makes something go wrong?" - Elena tried telling him once again, seeing obvious frustration grow in him. "I know. I know I did!" - He ran the hands through his hair as he got more pissed off at himself.

What started to hurt Elena even more was when she saw a tear roll down his cheek until it fell on his knee, while he wiped it away, seeming embarrassed by it.

"I know I am wrong. And I am sorry. It just hurts me knowing I will never be able to do something about it. I hate myself for the things I had done and I wish I could change many of them, but that's just who I am and I think that nobody will be able to understand the way things always happen to me. Ever since I have stepped on this damn earth, things have been coming at me and I am not able to do anything to stop them from happening. Most of the time I don't think before I do something and that's what hurts me. I can't change." - His voice broke on the last few words as he sniffed placing both of his hands on his face, leaning back into her couch.

She watched him with desperation. She knew he was always hard on himself, blaming himself for things he didn't do all the time. But he accepted the ones he did, but again it was more than necessary. It hurt Elena to see him act such way but she wasn't able to do anything about it either.

"Charles... I hope you know how much I love you. I hope you understand that I will always care for you... but not when you are not taking care of yourself. I am not able to help you there. My help is limited but you can do whatever you want. You are damn Charles Leclerc. Not just a regular guy from Monaco. A person, who is famous formula 1 driver, the leader of championship who sacrificed a lot to be where he is right now. A person loved by many, starting from myself." - Elena took one seat closer to him as he didn't dare to pull his hands away to show her how vulnerable he is.

"You are too good to be acting such ways towards yourself. You have got to understand that. You have to change that before you go and try to change someone else's life by marrying them and spending the rest of your life with them." - Elena finished, not sure if she should reach out for his shoulder to place her hand on it and give him support.

"What are you saying? Are you breaking up?" - He asked, removing the hands from his eyes as she saw how red they've got. Charles was holding a big amount of tears and they threatened to spill anytime.

"I am saying in case we don't make it. Even then I'll be there to support you because Charles, you have changed my life even though yours is a mess. You looked out for me more than yourself. Now it's your turn to do so. Go to this race weekend in Monza and show the people how much you can do." - Elena replied, his eyes not moving from hers.

"I don't understand... at what stage of our relationship are we right now?" - Charles returned back to the topic seeing her sigh before deciding to speak again.

"I might have to leave. I have got an opportunity back in Miami to be upgraded as a chief of police of Miami. The biggest opportunity for my career." - Elena explained not quite wanting to look him in the eyes at first, afraid of his reaction for unknown reason.

"Will you accept it?" - He asked, with a trace of hope in his voice. "Depends." - She replied. "On what?" - Charles asked again, eager to find out the answer. "On where we are and where we'll be." - She finally raised her head, looking in his red eyes, her own starting to get the same way.

"I am asking you the same thing." - Charles replied, feeling more than confused. "What do you want us to be, Charles?" - She asked him and based off of his reply she'll see if they were on the same page.

"Everything." - He whispered out in desperation. She waited to see if he'll speak more because she needed more than just a word with such large meaning.

"I want to marry you, Elena. I want to wake up next to you every day. I want people to refer to you as Elena Leclerc... I want our children to share our best features and to have breakfast with them every day. I want you to join me everywhere so we explore the world like we talked about it that august night, back in Greece before this mess happened. I want us to buy a house somewhere far away from traffic and people, to live in our own peace. I want to be able to take our children to school and teach them math. I want you as my wife and a mother of my children, Elena. Everything."

Charles whispered out last words, a breath leaving his mouth. And his thoughts relaxing like he has been holding it in for a long time. "You know we will never be the same..." - Elena felt a tear roll down her cheeks as she shook her head. His speech, making her emotional. As no one in her life told her about a future with her.

"Then let's be different, Elena. Please let's try something new. I don't know what, but people succeed. And if there is a couple that can make it through then it's us. We are grown up and let's act that way. Don't give up on me now, please. I beg you not to do that."

The first physical contact made in few days, his hand went over hers while it rested on her knee. And she was so desperate for it, she placed her other one over his again. Debating if she should pull his hands away or grab them, bringing him closer.

"Charles... I won't accept the offer." - She started after swallowing a lump that has been making it hard to talk for few moments. "I didn't ask you to do that..." - Charles started, his face showing a small concern and worry.

"But that's the only way we can succeed. One of us has to sacrifice something. And you have a lot more to lose. I, myself, am not letting you step away from your dream because even though we both worked hard for it. You love it with passion that is with you since the day you saw a red car go fast. My parents made me love what I do, so it's not the same. And don't try and talk me out of this right now because I might jump off of this balcony to never think of this. My head hurts from the confusion."

Elena pulled her hands over her head, closing her eyes, letting another tear down. For a moment there was silence, then he next one she felt Charles move, pulling her in his embrace, squeezing a lot tighter than he usually would.