Infidelity

44

He looks at me and I look at him. We're both phased by our bewilderment. We're both breathing through our mouths heavily.

It's the only sound in the room.

"Call a doctor!" I scream at him.

He just stares at me.

"Call the bloody doctor Keletso!"

"I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?!" A sharp pain pulls my belly downward and stand with my feet apart screaming.

"We're not really supposed to be here..." He looks like he wants to run away.

"Unless you're prepared to deliver these babies, I suggest you do something and...ahhhhh" I kneel on the floor and do breathing exercises.

"I don't know what to do." He slowly moves away from me.

"Fuuuuck youuuhhh!" I begin sobbing. "This is all your fault!"

"Just breathe. I'll. I'll think of something." He scratches his head, obviously clueless.

"Don't you dare fucking tell me to breathe. How could you say that about my mother." I bite into the sheets and continue with my wailing.

"I just didn't know what to say. As much as you don't believe it, loving you hurts."

His emotions can pour out as blood for all I care. Right now there's nothing he can say to try and melt me or make me see reason.

His kids are showing me hell already.

"You think it doesn't hurt me?! All this effort, everyone against you but I am here, trying to be whatever you need but you tell me that my mother is de...Ahhhh" I make a downward dog pose on the floor and shift to a baby pose when a new kind of pain arises.

"I didn't mean to..."

"Hurt me? Because you think I do it on purpose. I don't know what is wrong with me..." The tone of my crying aligns with the pain.

"Please don't cry. I'm sorry. I was stupid. I was wrong."

"I've been crying for over ten minutes and you're only noticing now." I lie on my side, breathing heavily. "Just call your guy and arrange something."

"My guy?! Of course." His light bulb finally lights up and searches for his phone in his pockets.

***

I can barely hear anything as I slowly succumb to the pain.

The lights above  are a blur but I can feel them on the side of my face as I am rushed to what I assume is ward. It hurts so much I can't scream anymore.

**

After a lot of pushing and screaming; blood, sweat and tears, two beautiful babies are born. A boy and a girl I'm told. I'm too out of it to be aware of anything.

I fall into a deep sleep.

Upon waking up, Keletso is by my bedside. By his reaction I can tell he was anxious.

"You're awake." There's a panic evident in his tone.

"Who did you bribe to be here." My energy is at its lowest and yet I'm still keen on picking a fight.

He draws a deep breath and lets it out slowly. He's clearly exhausted and I'm just exasperating him.

"You're still mad," he says calmly.

"Now you're deciding my feelings for me."

"You have to rest." He instructs me.

"Just like my dead mother." The pain creeps up on me slowly, stinging my eyes.