Infidelity

36

Keletso

That girl makes me so mad and yet she excites me at the same time. Falling in love was always out of the question but what can I do when the natural order of life takes control over me.

She takes control over my every being. When it comes to her, everything is so effortless. I don't think, I just do. I hate it but I love it at the same time. From the way that people described love, I thought I knew how it would be like and so I thought it would be easier to avoid. Oh boy wasn't I gravely incorrect. She caught me by surprise and when I had prepared for an upper cut, I got a blow in the stomach and now I can't get her out of my head.

Seeing her today put everything into place. Nothing else matters when she's near. The fact that she's now carrying my children. She's going to be the mother of my children, it makes everything worse.

I yearn for her, I want her so badly. I want her to consume me until there is nothing left of me. I want to hold onto to her. Quietly until she falls asleep. I want to hear her sinful moans. I want her to need me. Anyway way and either way is alright, just as long as it's me.

I've been feeling sad lately. Ever since the day I last saw her. Ever since the day I threatened her. Ever since the day I gave her up to him.

Him!

She always says her name. She calls out him every time she comes undone, when it is I who gives her pleasure . Maybe it is my fault. All this time I've been envying him. I've been wanting to be him with so much desperation.

But it is me she wants. Maybe I haven't given all of myself to her.

"It's me she wants. She said so herself." I turn in my bunk bed to face the other side. I push my body back so that my back can be against the cold wall. The sting reminds me of her cold words.

How did I end up?!
Pregnant by a human trafficking criminal who I'm not in love with!

The person sleeping above me stirs very loudly and I fight the urge to punch him.

I could never sleep at the top. I've always been afraid of heights. Sleeping at bottom isn't much of a comfort either. Every movement the person above makes affects me too.

I sigh.

My depression returns. It is the worst feeling ever. A feeling that is only remedied by her scent, her soft skin and her moans. I try to picture her face but it's not enough.

I have to call her.

**
Africa

Three faces stare at me as soon as I've closed the door behind me.

My dad. My twin sister, Azania and Sandile.

"What -what are you doing here?" I don't move away from the door. A part of me is hoping to evaporate into it.

"I was worried about you..." My father is the embodiment of pity.

"We were worried. Dad's been worried for weeks." My sister tells me.

"We?" I look at Sandile.

"We decided to call them. Sphe and I. We're all worried about you." Sandile says.

"No." I shake my head. "Like...why?"

"Because we care about you." Sandile begins to walk towards me.

"No!" I snap. "Stop right there. No one wants you here. We are done. No one needs you and no one wants you. My dad doesn't even like you."

"He was only trying to help, Africa." My sister says.

"I don't want his help. He should be working on his own family issues but instead he's here interfering." I push myself into the door until it begins to creak.

"Africa you're pregnant, you shouldn't get yourself worked up like this." He admonishes me.

The nerve!

"Of course. Stoop very low." I'm not even angry or surprised.

My father however is very angry but I let him land atleast one punch on my behalf before I explain things.

"Oh for heaven's sake, he's not the father." I raise my hands and then I let them fall limply on either of my sides.

My father's swing halts in mid air.

"Then who is?" My father turns to face me.

Everyone looks at me with anticipation.

"The jailbird." Sandile informs everyone.

"That's what you're here for right? To tell on me." I nod.

"A jailbird?" My sister and father speak at the same time. My father is in shock and my sister is surprised, even humoured.

"The irony, right?" I blurt out and my sister joins me in laughter.

"What is so funny?" My father is close to tears.

"You really want to know dad?" I ask him and he nods.

"Maybe it's because my mother left me when I needed her the most. Maybe it's because my father was barely there after her departure. Maybe it's because therapy wasn't working so I seeked other means. Maybe it's because my boyfriend was so hung up on his ex that he couldn't even see me. Maybe that's why everything is funny because I can't even cry anymore. I am empty." I  laugh but there isn't any humour in my laughter.

My father bows his head. My sister cries.

"But that doesn't justify you consorting with criminals." Sandile speaks and I just wish my father would punch him again.

"I don't care about your opinion but atleast he owns up to his shit and he loves me even if the feeling isn't mutual." I defend Keletso.

"Please leave." My sister says.

I look at Sandile. He raises his hands in defeat.

I see him out.

My phone rings as soon as I close the door behind him. It's an unknown number.

The end of part 2

**
We're almost to the end and I can't wait to wrap this all up.

Get ready for part 3

Did anyone else feel as sorry for Keletso whilst reading as I did whilst writing this chapter.

Raise your hand if you want justice for Keletso.

Happy reading 🖤

***
This chapter is dedicated to
MiaNelly074
RalphDiandaoKhan
Sihle111
sphiwentshembho
karishnah02
LedileMantjiu
nyamaha
siphiwesibiya6
bileh31