A New Dawn

Chapter 4 - Idris

My bedroom door bangs open right as I read the last line of Quiet Night. I blink, glancing over at Roman. He makes a face at me.

"What?" I ask, setting my book on my bedside table.

"Were you up reading all night?" he asks.

I look out my window. Sunlight. Guess I did stay up all night. I look back to my brother, stretching. "Yeah. I guess."

He scoffs. "You've read that entire series a million times. Why did you stay up to read it?"

"Because—" I swing my legs over the side of the bed "—Gareth Chiem just announced he's working on another book in the series, so I have to reread all the books to make sure I don't miss anything."

Roman gives me a blank look. "Okay, Idris. Whatever you say."

I roll my eyes, getting to my feet to get ready for the day. "What are you even doing in my room? Don't you have to leave for your internship soon?"

This summer, Roman got an internship at some big corporation or something. I always zone out whenever Nanay and Tatay bring it up. This just means I don't listen at all the moment I hear the words "internship" or "intern" or "interning." Economics isn't my thing to begin with, but my parents and Roman are all good with numbers. So even before Roman got the internship, I got to hear all about inflation, GDP, macroeconomics, and whatever else economics-related. It's not that I mind listening to them go on about any of it. Not before the internship anyway. But now that Roman has it, any talk about economics somehow always includes some comparison between us. It doesn't matter that we're four years apart or that I'm doing almost exactly what Roman was doing at 16—getting straight As, working to save up for college—I should somehow also have some big internship at some big corporation right now like my 20-year-old brother.

That's usually about as far as I listen. I don't need to hear it all to get the gist: I'm a disappointment.

"I'm gonna head out in half an hour," Roman says, sitting on my bed. "I was just wondering if you wanted a ride to work since I've been taking the car every single day."

I shrug, turning to look at Roman while I grab the first shirt I touch. "You don't have to. I don't mind skateboarding to the café." I turn back to the closet and grab a pair of jeans. "And I can always ask Marlowe to drive me."

Roman doesn't say anything for a second. When he speaks again, his voice is carefully neutral. "How is Marlowe?"

I blink before I turn to face Roman, tossing my clothes on the bed. "Marlowe is Marlowe."

Roman waits for more, but I don't think Marlowe would want me to say anything. It's not that she's still mad at him for how he treated her during their senior year of high school. But sometimes when I mention the things that Roman still says to me when he's in a bad mood, she looks almost murderous. Almost like Roman is actually insulting her. Better to keep her life private from him just in case.

"I think she's okay," I add when Roman still doesn't say anything.

He nods slowly, but he doesn't press. Instead, all he asks is, "So do you want a ride or are you good?"

Something about his voice makes me do a double-take. His expression is blank, and it gets my heart to beat a little faster. I always hate expressions I can't read. I never know if I should be preparing an apology, a joke, or what and I'm always too panicked to figure it out. So instead, I try to stay as neutral and calm as possible.

"If you have time, a ride would be nice," I say, forcing my voice to become monotone.

Roman nods, getting to his feet. "Be ready in twenty minutes."