A Starling's Redemption

Starting To Look Up

Tuesday evening, it was obvious Josh had something on his mind. As soon as we finished dinner, he asked me to join him on the couch.

"When I got to work this morning, my boss, Buck Everly, noticed that I was distracted. When we stopped for lunch, he asked me what was troubling me. I explained the situation, and asked his opinion. Buck's daughter, Chelsea Everly, was also there. She's our age. She's had her share of experiences with starlings, so she was understandably astonished that I'm falling for one. It was Chelsea who answered, before her dad could say anything.

"Chelsea told me I need to continue being your friend, that it's what you really need from me at this point. She said I need to give Shannon space to figure out her own feelings. Then she hit me with a hammer of a question – 'Joshua, are you clear on how you feel about Amanda? It's clear to me.' I opened my mouth, but I didn't say anything. Chelsea asked, 'Dad, can you see it?' Buck answered, 'Yup, he's got it bad.'

"Chelsea told me that you and I are a couple. She said I may not be able to see it, and that maybe I don't want to, but that I see something in you that makes me want to be your guy. She said I had better wake up, and see what I have right in front of me before it's too late. Otherwise, you will feel like I'm rejecting you, and move on.' He took a deep breath before continuing.

"Amanda, I'm conflicted. I have no reason to doubt your apology was sincere, and I do see something in you. I see potential. And I have to confess, I like what I'm seeing. I admit, there is still a part of me that hesitates to trust you. I've decided to take Elise and Chelsea's advice, and just focus on being your friend. I want to be supportive, and help you through this chapter in your life. I will however be leaving the door open so that, in the future, whatever is meant to happen – happens."

I felt he wasn't holding anything back, being completely open and honest about his feelings for what may have been the first time in his life. It was obvious it didn't feel natural to him, and my relief was nearly overwhelming. I cried, again, and told him I'd spent all day thinking about him.

I told Josh how I felt about him, and how I had been doubting his feelings for me. I was also worried about his feelings for Shannon, and what that would do to him, and to us.

I told him, "I'm ready to abandon my starling lifestyle. I want to live as a grubber, because you all know how to love each other. I'd give it all up for even a chance at being loved." We spent the rest of the evening cuddling on the couch.

Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday all went smoothly. Josh always left for work before anyone else was up. When he returned, he'd find me in the kitchen, helping his mom. I was starting to learn about cooking.

Friday afternoon I was in the kitchen, putting away the clean dishes. Reuben walked up and grabbed my butt, so I slapped him. He walked away with a goofy grin on his face.

Josh and I spent our evenings cuddling on the couch, and I was part of the nightly family discussions about our days. I always had some misadventure, be it with the dishwasher, or the laundry. I was proud of myself for learning to use the vacuum cleaner. Josh always responded to me with encouragement, telling me he was proud of me.

Friday night, Josh told me, "Amanda, someday you will make a great wife."

We kissed for the first time. I didn't tell him, but I was still worried about his feelings for Shannon, and their relationship. The next evening would resolve that.