A Starling's Redemption

Coping

By Labor Day, Mom had visited me at Elise's, and joined us for dinner. She'd also hosted us at her home. We'd given her a list with all of our phone numbers, which allowed her to keep in touch. Mom and Helen were starting to form a friendship.

On the Sunday of Labor Day weekend, the whole family gathered at Josh's. Bret's parents and sister joined us. Robert and Barney were in the garage, talking about cars. Helen, Elise, and Ruby were in the kitchen. Bret and Josh were grilling assorted chicken pieces, Raina and I were there with them. Paul had stolen Reuben's sunglasses, so we were enjoying watching Reuben chasing Paul in circles around the backyard.

My mom showed up. She had a peaceful look for the first time I can ever remember. She waved at us, and we waved back.

"Amanda, I have something for you." She handed me an envelope.

"What is it?"

"It's your freedom. One of my conditions for the divorce was that you be legally emancipated. Your father was perfectly willing to sign off."

"So does this mean the divorce is final?"

"Basically. We're waiting on some paperwork to get processed, but everything is done. Your dad is keeping the house."

"And what about Ed?"

"Ed?"

Mom's countenance dropped. Her gaze shifted from my face to my shoes.

"Oh. You mean your brother. Edward. He was given the choice, and is staying with your dad."

"And how about you? How are you doing?" Her eyes came back up to meet mine.

"Honestly, Amanda? I don't know. It hurts more than I ever imagined it would. Anger at being betrayed, loneliness, fear... I imagine it must have been how you felt when you first came to stay with the Whitakers."

"I did feel those things. But they made sure I knew from the start that I had this safety net, this family, to catch me. They made sure I knew I wouldn't have to face the world alone. They also gave me something else. They showed me that I have the freedom to be the person I really want to be. I don't feel the pressure to conform to the social norms, like I did in my starling life."
"I can see the change in you. I just hope I can learn a new lifestyle as easily as you have."

My mom and Helen were having a conversation while we were eating.

Helen asked, "Samantha, how have you been getting along on your own? Do you feel you are coping well?"

"Yes, and no. Back when we had parties, when things got a little too stressful, I'd go heavy on the wine. When I get home at night, there is still a part of me that really wants to grab a bottle, and drown my sorrows. But there's another part of me that doesn't want to become that angry lush who ruined her life."

Ruby asked, "Samantha, are you able to find at least a little joy in your current circumstances?" Mom nodded.

"I see Amanda, my daughter, living a great life. She's found happiness, and that brings me joy. She's the other reason I won't pick up a bottle. I have the chance to build a relationship with her, and I don't want to blow it."

By the middle of October, I'd passed my driving test. Robert and Helen let me drive the Battle Wagon for a week, since Elise's car had broken down, again. When Bret and Elise went car shopping on Saturday morning, I drove the Battle Wagon back out to the house to drop it off. My mom was meeting me, and picking me up.

"Amanda, would you like to start shopping for your wedding dress soon?"

"We haven't had any real quality time since school started, so how about now?"