See You in the Morning

16 // Toccata

It had taken her a while; but a quarter way through her second year of high school, Michelle is finally hitting her stride.

It's too bad that her good fortune comes just after the complete dumpster fire that had been Thanksgiving at the Silvas'.

Like every other set of sisters who have ever walked the earth, Michelle and Josie have had their fair share of spats and disagreements. Who left the wet towel on the bathroom floor, who ate the last pudding in the fridge, and whose turn it was to monopolize the phone back when they relied on a landline to maintain their social lives.

But something changed when Michelle realized that Josie had been deceitful about seeing and talking to the woman they both used to know as their mother. It felt like a betrayal of the highest order to find out that Josie had kept this information from her. After all, she was also directly impacted by Evanna's departure, and she is no longer a little girl who needs to be sheltered from the world.

The entire ordeal shattered any illusion Michelle had of her older sister being as perfect as she seemed. And though her inner petty girl wants to celebrate this particular breakthrough, Michelle is still too hurt to be smug.

So, as Josie returns to Manhattan with a silent Marco by her side, Michelle decides to let herself be buoyed with a new sense of purpose and belonging by directing her attention to the school musical.

She spends her days in class counting down the hours till the last bell, at which point she sprints to Ezra's locker so that they can walk down to the auditorium together. Though musical rehearsals only happen twice a week after school, Michelle is surprised by how little she misses her solo bike rides and how she isn't bothered by the fact she has to stay up later to complete her normal workload.

While choreography isn't something that comes naturally to her, Michelle feels invigorated by the challenge of applying herself to a physical task. The aerobic work helps her to focus on what's in front of her rather than emotionally complex matters, such as Josie's deception and her father's love life.

So, when other students get frustrated with the complicated routines, she becomes determined to persist. And when the others gripe and bellyache about how tired they are, Michelle rallies her energy for another repetition.

Her most favorite part of rehearsals are the moments when everyone sings.

Though she has been involved with her school choir since middle school, Michelle has never experienced the thrill of singing with others for the sake of telling a story. The solidarity fostered through deliberate eye contact, shared breaths, soaring harmonies, and parallel movements is not only exhilarating but intimate in ways she did not expect.

She's the first to admit she knows next to nothing when it comes to love. Apart from her humiliating experience with Joshua Waters, she has no other reference points to know what is or isn't normal when it comes to matters of the heart. Except for Josie and Marco, that is – and even then, her sister's engagement seems to be more of a deep sea fishing excursion than a pleasure cruise.

Even so, it's a surprise when she feels strangely warm any time she and Ezra share a scene.

She's not convinced it's romantic, since none of Ezra's physical features prompt instantaneous fantasies of her wedding day or makes her want to suddenly combust with heat. Sure, there's a certain charm about his prominent nose and bushy eyebrows, and the bounce in his brown curls could put a Pantene Pro-V model to shame, but at the end of the day, Ezra is just an ordinary boy with an ordinary face that she wouldn't necessarily be able to pick out of a crowd.

While it's not his looks, something about his presence makes her feel softer inside, less jaded and more hopeful towards the world. His eyes are always curious and gentle, never judging and full of depth. When she's with him, she feels accepted and free to be herself.