ShiVi Stories

Heart to heart

Ungli pakad kar tujhe chalna sikhaya hai,
Apne aanchal ki chaaun mein tujhko bithaya hai,
Khud bhuka so kar maine tujhko khilaya hai,
Tere aansuon ne har baar mujhko rulaya hai,
Main shaam savere tere raah takti hoon,
Tu jo dard mein ek aah le le,
To main khud bilak uthti hoon,
Mera har ek pal maine tujhko diya,
Tujhko sulakar main jaagti reh gayi...
Apni saari khushiyan tere naam kiya,
Mere hisse mein ghum ki cheenten reh gayi...
Mera laadla tu...

Suman watched her eldest son sitting before her and watching her disappointedly. His face was filled with minute lines of irritation and he was shaking his head in exasperation. Suman felt her heart sink.
"Maa tu bhi na! Tujhe kyun aisa lagta hai haan?" Gautam said. "Teri is soch se tang aa gaya hoon main. Dhara ne kya kuch nahin kiya hai is ghar ke liye! Mere liye! Tere liye! Aur fir bhi tujhe lagta hai ki main ghalat hoon jo maine use pehle sambhala? Maa mere peeche saari foj thi jo tujhe sambhal leti par Dhara ko chot lag gayi thi isliye main us tak pehle pahunchna chahta tha. Woh ladki tere liye apne aap ki safety ko tak nahin dekhti aur tu hai ki mere us ko pehle sambhalne par mujhse ye sab pooch rahi hai! Aur kya ye teri ghalti nahin hai maa? Usne to tujhe kaha bhi kinwoh andar le jayegi tujhe par tune inkaar kiya! Aise beech aangan mein construction ke waqt koi baithta hai bhala? Nahin! Lekin tujhe kaun samjhayega? Maa tera mujhe kuch samajh nahin aata! Aur fir bolti hai main Dhara ka side leta hoon!" Gautam was very calm but hints of exasperation was lacing his words. Suman watched him with a sarcastic smile as she nodded her head but the pain and hurt in her eyes remained invisible to Gautam, who was still reminiscing about the accident and Dhara's wound afterwards.

Jo tu dagmagaya,
main daudi aur tujhko sambhala,
Mera laadla tu,
har baar tujhko bachaya,
Tu jo gir gaya,
to aansu tere maine mitaya,
Godi mein leke tujhe dharas dilaya,
Ek pal bhi tujhko maine na sataya,
Meri nigahen, tujhpar tiki,
Tujhe ek pal bhi chode na reh saki...
Mera laadla tu...

"Waah beta... Aaj tu itna bada ho gaya ki mere badhte haathon ko nazar andaaz karke aage badh gaya? Gautam... Mere baqi bacche Dhara ne mere saath milkar paale hain. Par tu? Tujhe maine akela badha kiya hai. Woh mere laadlon ki yashoda hai. Par tu mera beta hai. Tujhse umeedon ki bhauchaad lagadi shayad. Maaf kar dena mujhe beta. Aaindah nahin hoga. Main hi pagal hoon jo tujhse in sab ki umeeden lag baithi." Suman whispered hurtfully but with a strange smile. Her eyes were filled with tears. Gautam sighed. He didn't understand how to tell her. He loved his mother but today he really felt Dhara needed him more because the rest of his brothers were there for his mother. In his conclusions, his normally calm heart couldn't see his mother's frustrations.
"Maa woh meri patni hai. Kya mera uski taraf badhna aur uski chot par yun pareshaan hona ghalat hai? Kya ek patni ke liye apni concern dikhana ghalat hai? Nahin na? Ek waqt ata hai jab baccha badha ho jata hai aur use apni patni ke baare mein sochna padhta hai. Uska bhi mujhpar haq hai Maa!" Gautam explained. In his eyes, his mother was behaving like a typical mother where she became insecure just because her son moved to help his wife out first. He felt that she needed to be the centre of his attention always. Which he felt was not possible as Dhara deserved all the love in this world, for her dedication towards his home and family. Her wounds had shook him terribly. Even though they were minor, he still felt they were huge ones.
Gautam shook his head and went out of the room leaving Suman to ponder upon her broken heart and today's incident that seemed to rattle her to the core.
•••••
Suman was still awake and pondering upon today's incident. Disappointment was crowding her senses. She looked around and saw Gautam everywhere. She still remembered the day he was born. He was such a tiny baby, with a full crown of hair. She had fallen in love with him instantly. He had held her little finger in his hand and when she tried to pull it, he had pouted and then cried loudly shaking her to the core. Darshan hd laughed at her alarmed face but she had swayed as much as she could while sitting and tried to shush her baby with sweet nothings.