One Night In Brooklyn | Bucky Barnes 1940's

Sunday, February 3rd 1946

Hey my loves! just wanted to leave some warning notes on this chapter. Please don't read if these themes upset you, and remember to be kind to yourself <3

TW: Abortion, vomiting, graphic descriptions of blood, suicide, religious trauma

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7.04 AM

It was Sunday, which meant there was only one direct bus there and one back.

She had planned this day thoroughly, and made good enough of an excuse to anyone that would bother to ask where she had been. Bucky knew she'd be meeting Peggy to help sample the wedding cakes. And she had told Peggy that she was spending the morning with Bucky. She wasn't expecting her until around 3 PM. She had left plenty of cat food out, and besides, the cat (who still didn't have a name) took rather good care of itself.

"I better not find you on the bed when I get back" She had looked at it with narrowed eyes. She was certain the cat understood exactly what she was saying, and did the exact opposite of what she asked every time, simply out of spite.

The bus was almost empty, except for her and 3 other passengers.

Eloise felt too stiff to lean against the window. For the first 30 minutes of the ride she couldn't even look outside. She was nauseous. And she could no longer be sure if it was her nerves or just morning sickness.

She hadn't even thought anything of it at first, missing her period.

She had been dealing with a lot lately. Especially at work. She had just blamed it on stress and figured it would come back sooner or later.

But when her second date passed, and she still hadn't bled, she got concerned.

She clutched her purse tightly, reminding herself to take a few deep breaths. The February weather had been unforgiving, and spring seemed to not even be on the horizon. The bumpy ride made her stomach twist, and she started to sweat.

Don't throw up, don't throw up, don't throw up.

9.14 AM

She stepped off the bus and took great caution to where she placed her feet. The roads were covered in ice and she knew that no one ever bothered to come out here and salt them.

She treaded carefully and slowly down the old familiar path that stretched across the frozen barley field. Soon enough, the sight would be awaiting her at the bottom of the hill. Each and every step Eloise took felt like walking on broken glass. Everything in her body told her to turn around, go back, deal with it another way. But she knew there was no other way. She didn't know who to tell. She didn't know where to go. She couldn't tell Peggy, it could jeopardize her career as a nurse. And she would want to help, she knew that Peggy would want to help. It wouldn't be fair to put her in that position.

And she hadn't had the heart to tell Bucky.

She didn't even know how she would have told him. How he would react. What it all meant. What he would expect. What she was supposed to expect.

The path through the field was growing shorter ahead of her, and soon she'd be able to see the building at the bottom of the hill. Another flash of nausea hit her. It was violent this time, and she couldn't keep it down.

She hadn't eaten that morning, and so all she managed to get up were fluids. And even after that, she gagged for some time until her throat felt raw.

Eloise wiped her mouth on her sleeve and kept walking. Her legs were shaking now, and the cold was getting to her.