Just us- SBI adoption story (Just me and him book 2)

Chapter 49: feeling both

Phil's POV:

"You want to come with us then mate?" I asked and Tubbo nodded happily. Apparently, today's therapy session had focussed on how Tubbo felt Tommy slipping away from him. In an effort to help him feel less separated, we were offering Tubbo the chance to be more involved with Tommy's activities. But, doing it in a way that didn't render him with any responsibility.

I was the one getting Tommy's bag ready for swimming and getting them both there. I was the one getting Tommy changed, paying for the session and being responsible for watching Tommy. He was there to enjoy seeing his little brother enjoy something. "Have you ever thought about swimming?" I asked him.

He half-shrugged. "We could ask Luke about it if you liked. Hydrotherapy can be a really good thing for recovery and building muscle?"

"Maybe." He murmured.

"You don't have to; it's just an idea. You always seem to enjoy swimming when we go as a family?"

He nodded but looked up the window and didn't seem up for continuing the conversation. I decided to leave it there and moved on to asking him how his minecraft world was going.

Tommy's POV:

I liked that my older brother got to watch me go swimming. And I wanted him to come swimming with me too. We never got to go swimming when we were with Dad and definitely not together. Hopefully Phil takes us to the big pool some time soon.

Jimmy was getting me jumping in today and I felt a lot better about it now. The more I swam, the more I worked out how I was supposed to move to make myself go where I wanted to. And I loved it!

He gave me a board and had me practice lots of kicking. Then he gave me a float and had me practice lots of pulling with my arms. I could feel all my muscles getting stronger. Maybe I'd be as strong as Techno some day. That would be pretty cool. But I think I can settle for being as strong as Tubbo for now. He does all his special exercises to get super strong. I think it's cool. And now he's got these plastic splint thingys or whatever and they make him way stronger.

He does a lot more walking now and he can walk better. He says that some day he'll talk and walk proper again. I tell him I don't care. He's not sleeping on the floor anymore and that's all the matters. In my head: Dad is still sleeping on the floor. And I want him to stay there. But I also want him to get up and read to me. I don't know how I can want both and neither. It scares me. I scare me.

Jimmy pulls me up out of the water and holds me to his chest. "Deep breaths." I just about hear him say. He pulls the goggles from my face and keeps holding me up out the water. "You forget about breathing for a minute there huh?" I looked at him but I don't know what my face was really saying. I felt scared. "You're alright, I got you. Why don't we take a bit of a break and then we can play a game. Then it's time to get out."

He signed. Break. Game. Stop. I nodded in return, trying to prove I'd understood what he'd told me. He moved us in the water so we were back by the edge of the swimming pool and set me up on the side with my legs dangling in the water. Phil crouched next to me, "you okay mate?" I nodded, but I still felt scared. I wanted my brother.

"To-to-to-tom-m-m-mmy-y-y-y-y-y, no," he said. I giggled a little and smothered him with a hug anyway. "O-o-o-o-okay-kay-kay then," he laughed and hugged me back for a moment. "You scared?" He asked, signing to me just like Jimmy had. I liked that about swimming. Everyone signed here (even Phil a little) and it was good. 

"Yes." I replied.

"Why?"

"Dad." He hugged me and he definitely didn't care about me being wet this time.