Feel

Synonym of a poet

As soon as I get back home I close the door of my room, turn on my computer and start listening to poems read by Pablo Rossini. All my wounds disappear, they just disappear, I no longer feel them and I no longer think about my life.I listen to the poems as if I were walking through the words, and if it happens that I cry, I don't cry because I feel sadness but because something inside awakes to make me return to a world where I feel lost, I don't belong, and I feel no joy. I don't feel happy and I feel like screaming and advising everyone not to think too much, not to always put themselves in other people's positions, not to try to fix everything, not to think about other people's feelings, and not to notice everything. Because in the end this sensitivity makes one suffer more than to live, it hurts more than to feel joy, it makes one want to cry but not of happiness, not of suffering, and not of sadness, but to cry because you don't know where all the feelings and thoughts you think about others go, where do they go if they don't fix everything? But then listening to the poems, reading the books and chatting every Friday with my favourite professor, I realise that all poets are sad, not all the time, but their lives was based on tragedies. But a poet is not a synonym of sadness, suffering or tears. He is a warrior, a brave kind warrior fighting life only with a pen.

I think a lot but in real life I cannot express myself in the right words, I have a difficulty with words so I choose to write to feel caressed by the words, to feel heard by the pages. And in the end I go back to listening to the poems and escape from the world.