A Court of Ice and Starshine (Book II)

Chapter 16

The winter morning sun cast a soft, golden glow on the boardwalk leading to the beach as they strolled hand in hand. The brisk air nipped at their cheeks, but they didn't mind. As they walked, Lowen looked out at the vast expanse of the ocean, its waves crashing gently against the shore. Her fingers tightened around Azriel's hand, and he gave her a reassuring squeeze.

"You know, out of everything that happened that day with my father, the confrontation, the stabbing, the fall...it was my time in the water that terrified me the most," she admitted quietly, her voice unsteady.

Azriel glanced at her, his concern evident in his eyes.

"I brought you here because I would like to try to face it, with you at my side. But...I'm petrified to even step onto the sand. I keep thinking it will swallow me whole."

Azriel stopped walking and turned to face her, his gaze filled with tenderness and understanding.

"You don't have to do anything you're not ready for. Your courage in coming here is admirable, but it doesn't mean you have to rush it. I'll be here, whenever you're ready."

She smiled gratefully.

"Thank you, Azriel. I'm glad you're with me."

As they stood there for a moment, her heart pounding in her chest, she took a deep breath. With Azriel's hand firmly clasped in hers, she slowly stepped off the boardwalk and onto the soft, cold sand. The sensation sent shivers up her spine, and she clutched Azriel's hand even tighter. Her breath quickened, and she could feel the rush of anxiety coursing through her. But she had started, and there was no turning back.

Step by tentative step, she made her way further onto the beach, each footfall feeling like a monumental achievement. Azriel remained right beside her. The rhythmic crashing of the waves against the shore created a soothing backdrop, though it was a stark reminder of the vast body of water that was one of her greatest terrors.

Halfway through the sandy expanse, her heart raced, and she could feel the heat building up beneath her layers of clothing. She turned to Azriel, seeking his comforting gaze. His eyes met hers, filled with understanding and support.

"I want to show you," she said, and a hint of curiosity crept into his expression as his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

Then, like a light bulb going off, his eyes widened in realization. She nodded in confirmation, her heart pounding with a mix of nervousness and anticipation.

"I'm going to lower my mental shields," she explained, her voice steady despite her racing heart.

"I owe you every bit of me. And, in time, I want you to have me completely. Is that alright with you?" she asked, seeking his consent.

He nodded slowly, his gaze never leaving hers. She took a deep breath, steeling herself for the vulnerability she was about to expose. With that breath, she lowered her mental shields, allowing him access to the memories of that fateful day. The memory flooded her mind, and she let Azriel see every vivid detail. It was as if she had plunged back into the past.

The darkness was suffocating, and the eerie silence weighed heavily on her. She could feel unseen creatures moving around in the water, their presence sending shivers down her spine. Panic gripped her as her lungs burned, and the saltwater began to fill them. She was drowning, and there was no one there to save her.

No, it was worse than that.

She was dying, and the ocean would be her lonely grave. She would be left alone in the vast sea, surrounded by darkness and the unknown. Would her lifeless body wash up on a distant shore someday? Or would some sea creature make a meal of her? Perhaps she would simply sink to the ocean's bottom, lost and forgotten, a silent casualty of the deep.