Help Me Heal

Chapter 14

Driving home after the shift, Hank was pissed off. Hailey had indeed put in her resignation, which he had accepted. Rejecting it was hardly an option when she had obviously checked out. Things hadn't been right with her since she had shot Anna Avalos. She thought Hank blamed her for that, and he had to admit that she was right. Anna hadn't needed to die. He was convinced of that Kalinda coming into his life had helped to dull the pain of Anna's death, but it was still there. It always would be, to some extent.

What had pissed him off was a realisation, triggered by something Hailey had said in his office. She had told him that she had spoken to Jay, they had agreed to divorce on somewhat amicable terms, and Jay had said that getting out of Intelligence and out of Chicago was the best thing he had done for himself. Hailey had decided to follow his example – leaving Intelligence and moving away for a fresh start elsewhere.

With that, a lightbulb had gone off in Hank's mind, not that he had let on to Hailey. The timing of everything was a little bit too coincidental: Erin showing up out of the blue, the next day she was talking to Jay on the phone, then all of a sudden Jay was helping to talk Hailey into leaving. Hank realised he was being played. Or at least, he strongly suspected it. The theory he had put together was that Erin had been talking to Jay before she came back to Chicago. Jay had already agreed to come back too, whenever that was practical for him, at which point he would take Hank up on his offer to return to Intelligence. Then, with Hailey gone by that point, Erin would ask to take her job, Jay and Erin would be back working together, then their relationship would 'suddenly' reignite. How very convenient that would all turn out to be.

One thing Hank didn't like was being played. For that reason, he pretty much stormed into the house when he got home. Erin was in the living room, watching something on the TV.

"How was your day?" she called, as he marched into the living room. The way he did that was enough to surprise her.

"Better for you than me, I'd say."

"What does that mean?"

"It means Hailey Upton put her papers in today. Apparently she was kind of talked into the idea by Jay, who told her how good an idea it was to quit Intelligence and move away from Chicago. That was something you and Jay cooked up between you, wasn't it? Before you decided to come back here, give me a sob story about hating your life and missing me, then tell me you'd suddenly started talking to Jay. Let me guess what the next part of the plan is: You ask for Hailey's job, Jay comes back and returns to Intelligence, the two of you resume working together, then at some point you act like your romance has reignited, and me being a complete asshole, I won't figure any of it out. How am I doing so far?"

Erin closed her eyes for a full second, which told Hank all he needed to know. "I'm sorry, Hank. I didn't intend it to go like this, or to lie to you."

"Oh, stop with the bullshit," Hank snapped.

"It's not bullshit," Erin insisted. "I wanted to come back a while ago, when Jay and I first started talking again. I quit the FBI but things were complicated and it took weeks for me to get out of New York. By then, the Anna thing had happened, Hailey was a mess, I knew you would be too because Hailey told Jay all about it and he told me. At the same time, Jay pretty much made it clear to Hailey their marriage was done, which I didn't want him to do so soon, and by the time I was able to come back here everything was a total clusterfuck. I figured it might be easier to come up with a different, simpler story. Should have known you'd see through it. Again, I'm sorry, Hank."

Hank boiled over. "You're sorry? You're a scheming liar, that's what you are!" he shouted. "Here's some news for you and your little plan: You're not having a job in Intelligence, or with CPD if I can help it. And you're not welcome in my house. Pack up your stuff and check into a hotel. Tonight."

Hank stormed off to the kitchen, where he fixed himself a large shot of whisky, after resisting the temptation the hurl the glass at the wall instead. Downing the shot in one hit, he poured himself another, then sat down at the island. His anger started subsiding, and he began to feel a bit guilty for shouting at Erin like that. His temper got the better of him more easily these days, since Anna's death. That was something he really needed to work on.

Erin timidly appeared in the doorway. "Hank, it really wasn't supposed to happen like this. None of it was. But I was wrong not to show up and tell you the truth. This is on me, not Jay, and I apologise. If it's what you really want, I'll go pack my stuff."

Hank sighed, then slid his glass along the table towards her. "No. No, I don't want you to go. Have that drink. I probably shouldn't have another, I've got Kalinda coming to collect me in an hour. We're viewing an apartment for her. Why the lies, Erin?"

"I honestly just thought it would be simpler. Ironic now, right? Add it to my ever growing list of dumb mistakes. If I could get out of my own way, life would be a lot easier. What was true though is that I hated my life in New York, that I badly wanted to come back, and that I missed you. A lot." With that, she entered the kitchen, took the drink Hank had offered and downed it.

"Sorry for shouting at you," Hank mumbled, looking away from her. "Since Anna, I've got a shorter fuse. It's something I'm going to have to deal with."

"You don't owe me an apology, I deserved it. I'd like you to accept my apology though."

Hank looked at her once more. Erin was right about her life being a long story of mistakes and self-inflicted problems. This latest one was by no means the worst of them. Despite it all, he loved her. Further, he was just starting to get used to having her in the house, rather than the place being empty when he came home. He liked that, and didn't want it to end. "I accept it. But no more lies. I'd much rather have the truth, no matter how messy it is."

"Right," Erin said with an apologetic smile on her face. "No more lies, I swear. Can I get a hug? The last one we had was nice."

"Yeah," Hank said, getting up. They embraced each other, and she was right, it was nice. "If Jay coming back here and the two of you having another go of it is what you want, I say give it a try. But make sure Jay does the right thing with Hailey. He needs to get a divorce taken care of if that's the direction things are going in. And he should do that before things get serious between you."

"You're right," Erin said, nodding. "Do you want me to help you pick out a shirt? You'll want to look smart for an apartment viewing with your new woman."

Hank grunted a laugh. "She's not 'my woman'. But yes, let's go pick out a shirt."

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A/N: I decided to put a cut in here and have the apartment viewing as the next chapter. Do you think it be the right place for Kalinda to settle in Chicago?