Help Me Heal

Chapter 2

The following Monday, Hank made sure to be the first member of Intelligence to arrive for work. The early start made little difference to him. He rarely slept well these days. Dreams, or rather nightmares, about Anna Avalos came almost every night. He saw her being shot by Hailey Upton over and over again. Saw her dying right in front of him over and over again. Anna was gone, just like everyone else.

He vigorously shook his head to clear it as he heard someone walking up the stairs to the bullpen. It was time to focus on work. The one thing that kept him going. He heard Kim and Adam talking in the bullpen. They were the first arrivals of the day. Adam and Kim who had a relationship and a child. Adam and Kim who were happy. Hank was jealous, if he allowed himself to think about it. He hadn't felt like that until Anna died, but now he was. Anna's death had changed him. Broken him somehow. A tipping point.

For the second time, Hank shook his head to clear it. This time it worked. Work mode was activated. "Morning!" he called out, letting Adam and Kim know that he was in his office. The blinds were closed, so they wouldn't have known without looking in his doorway.

"Oh, hey, boss," Adam said, appearing in the doorway as Kim called out a greeting from her desk. "Coffee? I'm going to make a pot."

"Sure," Hank said.

Over the next ten minutes, he heard the bullpen filling up with his team, coming in early for the same reason he had. They wanted to be there when their new colleague arrived. Hailey's was the only voice he hadn't heard. There was an undertone of slight nervousness about the chatter. Meeting a new team member naturally had that effect, but Hank was more than confident that Kalinda would fit in quickly.

"Here you go, boss," Adam said, returning at last with the coffee.

Hank nodded his thanks. At that moment his phone rang. An internal call from the front desk.

"Voight."

Trudy Platt's voice came on the line. "Hank, I've got Detective Rai here."

"I'll come down." He ended the call, got up and walked out of his office. He wasn't sure why he had said that. Usually he would have asked Trudy to show a new starter how to gain access to Intelligence and bring them up to the bullpen.

"Detective Rai is here," he told the team on his way through the bullpen. With the coffee and morning greetings dealt with, they were at their desks starting work, even though the shift hadn't yet begun.

When Hank reached the stairs, he encountered Hailey coming the other way. She looked like she hadn't slept well, and barely looked at him as she mumbled, "Sarge."

Jay abruptly bailing overseas and leaving her behind had messed her up. Understandably so, but she had to get over it, at least while she was working. It was a problem Hank was going to have to resolve at some point. Right now, he had something more immediate and more pleasant to deal with.

He went down the stairs and approached Kalinda, who smiled warmly when she saw him. She had her hair in the tight bun again, but the suit was gone. She was dressed in a simple outfit of a white top and black pants. The notable part was the knee-high black leather boots. They had no heels, so they wouldn't stop her running if she needed to. Even so, they were quite striking footwear for a detective. She also had a backpack with her. Some things for her locker.

Smiling wasn't his thing, but he did his best to put some warmth in his voice. It didn't really work. "Hi, Kalinda. Welcome to the 21st." They shook hands. Hers was soft and cool, the way it had been the first time.

"Hank, good to see you. I'm excited to make a start."

"Come with me. I'll introduce you to the team. We even have fresh coffee."